The Cleveland Sports Mimes

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Week One Predictions

It’s week one in the NFL and to celebrate, we’re gonna help you burn some money. Seriously, if you take our advice or place any bets based on either of our picks, you’re a moron. We’re making these picks purely for the fun of it. To our one fan and avid reader, feel free to lock in a couple picks of your own down in the comment section. If you’re picks play out better than ours, maybe we’ll have some sort of prize for you. Probably not, but play along anyway.
Point Spread courtesy of Bodog

Redskins +4.5
Giants -4.5

Mummer: Redskins
The Giants D is questionable, and I really like the Skins offense this year.

Little Mime of Hate: Giants

Bengals -2
Ravens +2

Mummer: Bengals
I’m thinking of driving down to Baltimore and winning the starting QB job for next week.

LMoH: Bengals
What a stellar week one match-up. I'm thinking about watching
Battlestar Gallactica instead.

Jets -3
Dolphins +3

Mummer: Jets
The Favre era starts with a bang as he torches the Dolphins.

LMoH: Dolphins
I am going out on a limb here. I think Chad Pennington muscles up and throws a 25 yard hail mary for the winner.

Chiefs +13
Patriots -13

Mummer: Chiefs
No way the Patriots get off to that great a start.

LMoH: Patriots
The Pat's don't have to get off to a great start. Croyle is going to throw 4 int's. By the way, I believe he is still available in our Fantasy league.

Texans +6.5
Steelers -6.5

Mummer: Texans
I just don’t see the Steelers winning. No reason to support it.

LMoH: Steelers
You are really down on the Steelers. Not only do they cover, but Ahman Green gets hurt. Is that really a bold prediction?

Jaguars -3
Titans +3

Mummer: Titans
Too many off the field issues cost JAX this game.

LMoH: Jags
They play an inspired game for their boy in the ICU.

Lions -3
Falcons +3

Mummer: Lions
That’s all the Lions are giving?

LMoH: Lions
I agree. Shouldn't they be favored by 10 or so? Even if QB Matt Ryan is the real deal, who is going to catch the ball. And I'm sorry, but the jury is still out on Michael Turner.

Seahawks +1
Bills -1

Mummer: Seahawks
Seahawks have a good defense. That’s all I know.

LMoH: Push
Who gives a damn about this game? But if I must, I too will take the Seahawks.

Buccaneers +3.5
Saints -3.5

Mummer: Buccaneers
The Saints practiced all week in Indy, then fly back home to NO for this game.

LMoH: Saints
Katrina part 2. Even though it's not really the same thing. They once again rally the chocolate city. Only for a week though.

Rams +7.5
Eagles -7.5

Mummer: Rams
The Eagles don’t have any receivers, and the Rams are healthy. But just for this week.

LMoH: Eagles
The Rams are just that bad.

Cowboys -6
Browns +6

Mummer: Browns
I just don’t see them losing by 6.

LMoH: Cowboys
This is a tough one. I have the Cowboys D in our FFL, but i would really like to see the Brown's get over. In the end, Romo slices dices a weak secondary.

Panthers +9
Chargers -9

Mummer: Chargers
Holy crap the Panthers are terrible.

LMoH: Chargers

Cardinals -2.5
49ers +2.5

Mummer: Cardinals
Alex Smith = Tim Couch
JT O’Sullivan = Kelly Holcomb
Am I wrong?

LMoH: Cardinals
Not entirely. But to be sure you'll have to answer one question for me. Who is J.T. O'Sullivan?

Bears +10
Colts -10

Mummer: Bears
Maybe in a couple weeks I take the Colts by 10, but not this week.

LMoH: Colts
As good as the Bears D is (Allegedly) the Colts 40 minutes worth of possession wears them down. I will say this, Kyle Orton decides this game. Also, watch out for Matt Forte.

Vikings +2
Packers -2

Mummer: Vikings
The Packers are going to regret letting Brett go. It’s gonna get ugly.

LMoH: Packers
I like Rodgers. And is Tavris... Tavari....Tarvis Jackson really a go to guy?

Broncos -3
Raiders +3

Mummer: Broncos
Cutler and Marshall are quite the combo. Can’t say the same about Russell and…

LMoH: Broncos
Hmmmm...Marshall is out this week. D.B. Did Javon Walker ever get his bling back? Maybe that will help finish your sentence. One thing is for sure, he is still overrated.