As the Mummer knows, I have some issues with women's sports. For the most part, I am not a macho guy. One good look at me and you will understand that. It's not that I think women aren’t athlete’s or that women’s sports aren’t actually sports. If you want to watch pure basketball, women’s basketball is where it’s at. They pass, they play defense and they even shoot well. The problem is, it’s boring. I don’t want to see a fast break end with a wicked reverse lay-up. I want to see a two handed, reverse windmill, take-off from the free throw line dunk. The kind that makes the backboard shake like Christina Aguillera getting her monthly STD test at the free clinic.

If you want the god’s honest truth, politically correctness is the main reason I despise women’s sports. Title IX may have done “great things” for women’s sports. The problem is, women’s sports don’t make money. They need the men’s teams to support their teams. Yet we have to cut men’s sports so that UTEP can have a chick Cricket team. Even worse, ESPN and the other three major networks force it down our throats. If we wanted to see women’s sports, there would be more then 10 fans at a WNBA game. The numbers don’t lie.

The reason for this little rant is CNNSI.com. You know how they do their picture features? Well I stumbled across one that was dedicated to the best female athletes in the world. I shant bore you with all 23. There are only 3 that I am interested in.

#1 – Danica Patrick. First-off, drivers are not athletes. They are very talented at what they do. But they are not athletes. I know what you’re going to say, “You couldn’t do what they do!”. You are absolutely right. I couldn’t. I also can’t solve equations. Does that mean the UCLA Match team is chock full of “athletes”? Second, she has won exactly one race. ONE! One stinking race! To be fair, that is one more win the Ana Kournikova has.

#7 - Paula Radcliffe. I have posted her picture below. Is that really what an athlete looks like? She looks like she should be in a Sally Struthers commercial.


On a side note, how did she squeeze that kid out without breaking every bone in her body?

#17 - Jessica Long. No jokes here. This is some serious stuff. Here is what CNNSI.com had to say: “Long, a bilateral below-the-knee amputee, won the 2007 Sullivan Award and was named USA Swimming's Disability Swimmer of the Year. Long, who began swimming competitively in 2002, won three gold medals at the '04 Paralympic Games and will be looking for more in Beijing.”

Both of her legs have been amputated just below the knee. She is incredible. She is an inspiration. But apparently, she is not as talented as Danica Patrick. I am stunned.

What a difference a week makes. Somehow I posted an impressive 11-4 record last week. That's right, 11-4. You may be asking, how could I possibly have gone 11-4 if there were 16 games last week? Well my friends, that's a great question.
Let's take a look at the week 4 lines.


Minnesota at Tennessee (TEN -1.5)
Mummer: Tennessee
How about the loser of this game has to drop an "N" from their name.

Little Mime of Hate: Tennessee
This is a tough one. But for some reason, my man crush is shifting slightly to Kerry Collins.

Denver at Kansas City (DEN -11)
Mummer: Denver
Yikes.

LMoH:Denver
I really think K.C. Might have a chance to cover here. It just that, they are so, so bad.


San Francisco at New Orleans (NO -2.5)
Mummer: San Francisco
What do you get when put San Fran and New Orleans together? Anal beads.
Editors Note: We're better than that joke.

LMoH: New Orleans
You're an idiot. Even though I still think Bush is a bust, I think the Niners are an even bigger bust.

Arizona at New York Jets (EVEN)
Mummer: New York Jets
I refuse to make a joke about the age of these two QB's.
Dick Vitale: Look at those Diaper Dandies!

LMoH: Arizona
I think Farve is starting to figure out he gets more press when he loses. I expect that attention whore to go out and lay an egg, and then roll around naked in the press clippings.

Green Bay at Tampa Bay (GNB -3)
Mummer: Green Bay
Can you really trust a guy that couldn't win the starting job in Chicago?

LMoH: Green Bay
It wouldn't surprise me if the Packers win but fail to cover.

Atlanta at Carolina (CAR -4.5)
Mummer: Carolina
How in the hell did I forget to do a Michael Vick joke last week? Atlanta was just a 45 minute drive from Leavenworth!

LMoH: Falcons
This is one of those games that is tough for me. I don't expect the Falcons to win, but I don't like the Panthers to cover.

Houston at Jacksonville (JAC -7.5)
Mummer: Jacksonville
Make way for the Sage Rosenfels era!

LMoH: Houston
I think the Jags are in for a big time let down after last week. They do win this game, just not by 8.

Cleveland at Cincinnati (CIN -3.5)
Mummer: Cleveland
Oh boy.

LMoH: Cincinnati
I'm not falling for it. I am not picking the Brown's again until they get a win. By the way Mummer, I am a little dissappointed in you. No Brady Quinn reference this week?

San Diego at Oakland (SD -8.5)
Mummer: San Diego
I've got nothing for this game.

LMoH: Oakland
Chargers win, Raiders cover.

Buffalo at St. Louis (BUF -9)
Mummer: Buffalo
Yea, Marc Bulger was the reason this team wasn't winning...

LMoH: Buffalo
I heard that in order to turn things around, they are going to hire Matt Millen as the head of football operations.

Washington at Dallas (DAL -7)
Mummer: Dallas
How is Michael Irvin not in jail? I've been reading bits and pieces from this new book "Boys will be Boys" by Jeff Pearlman, and I'm just amazed that he's not catching passes from Michael Vick right now.

LMoH: Dallas
I think it was better when you weren't writing Michael Vick jokes.

Philadelphia at Chicago (PHI -7)
Mummer: Chicago
A Westbrook injury would justify me in taking Adrian Peterson with the first pick in the fantasy draft.

LMoH: Eagles
We are only in week 4 and you are already trying to justify the "All Day" draft pick. It's okay. Addai at #2 is working out nicely for me. I have no complaints.

Baltimore at Pittsburgh (PIT -1.5)
Mummer: Baltimore
The Ravens have submitted tape to the NFL accusing the Browns of gouging the eyes of Willis McGahee on more than one play. Is this really what the Browns have been reduced to? A bunch of schoolyard girls poking the eyes of a superior opponent. Someone please make a fire Romeo Crennel site.

LMoH: Baltimore
Did they also pull his hair and spit on him? That's good stuff. A banged up Ben and a fired up Ravens defense makes for a long night in the 'Burgh.

This morning I was scouring ESPN for any sort of positive press about the Cleveland Browns season. Unfortunately, I came up empty. That is unless you count the article that talks about how Quinn's shot at the starting job may come this week. What I did find interesting though was an ESPN Page 2 Poll Question that asked which team had the best shot of going 0-16.

Notice the teams to the left and the varied colors across the board. While I wasn't shocked that Ohio voted for the "Some Ohio Team" option, I was shocked to see that Maine was colored yellow. But take a closer look at Maine's vote total.

Well, I for one would like to say just one thing. Fuck you Guy from Maine!

It’s week 3 in the NFL and that means it’s time to make some picks and take a look back at last week. Congrats to the LMoH who went 11-3-1, while I displayed my knack for picking losers with a 6-8-1 record. I’m looking for redemption this week so let’s get to it.

Note: I'm shocked that we haven't had any reader participation in our picks. Give it a shot, you've got nothing to lose, and we'll put your name up on the blog in the weekly standings.

Kansas City at Atlanta (ATL -3.5)
Mummer: Atlanta
Atlanta got a win against a bad Detroit team. I look for them to do the same here.

Little Mime of Hate: Atlanta
Hmmm...Bobby Thigpen, former MLB record holder, or Matt Ryan? I'll take Ryan.

Oakland at Buffalo (BUF -7.5)
Mummer: Buffalo
I’ll drink the juice.

LMoH: Buffalo
Excuse me waiter, my friend will have some more man juice please. Though 7.5 is a lot of points in this battle of NFL juggernauts, I too will take the Bills.

Tampa Bay at Chicago (CHI -3)
Mummer: Tampa Bay
To be honest, I don’t know who to pick in this game. Neither team has a quality win and has losses against teams I’m not sold on. Let’s say Tampa because I think Griese is a better QB than Orton.

LMoH: Chicago
I am still on the Orton/Forte bandwagon. I might have a man crush on Kyle Orton. Though he is not an explosive QB, he does just enough not to cost you a game.

Carolina at Minnesota (EVEN)
Mummer: Minnesota
All Day has a sore hamstring. SHOCKER.
I still like Minnesota in spite of that.

LMOH: Carolina
I have no idea who to take in this one. Therefore, I turned to the scientific method. I can't increase my lead on the Mummer by making the same picks.

Miami at New England (NE -10.5)
Mummer: Miami
I hated Chad Henne in college because he played for the corn and blue up north. Now that he’s in Miami I love him. Smart QB, reminds me of Krenzel. With that being said, I think Pennington gets pulled and Henne keeps it close with NE.

LMOH: New England
"Corn and Blue", how witty. Have any Titanic jokes you want to mix in while you're at it? I still like the Pats. Especially in a division that features powerhouses like the Dolphins, Jets, and Bills. Like it or not, they still win that division.

Cincinnati at NY Giants (NYG -10.5)
Mummer: NY Giants
Cincinnati will get their first win on Sep. 28th.

LMOH: Giants
WOW! That's a nice little shot at your beloved Browns. Unfortunately, you may be right. I like the Giants in this one as well. By the way, it will be the 28th before Palmer gets his first passing touchdown as well. Do you think he is counting down the days until that contract is up?

Houston at Tennessee (TEN -3.5)
Mummer: Tennessee
Houston has no running game which isn’t good against a very good Tennessee defense.

LMOH: Houston
Slaton is going to shock a lot of people. Schaub is still a quality QB and he has some good receivers to throw too.

Arizona at Washington (WAS -1)
Mummer: Washington
I wish I had something funny to say here. We’re almost halfway through the blog post and it’s been a lackluster performance from yours truly.

LMOH: Arizona
Funny, I too had noticed this was a poor performance from you. I like the Card's in this one. Watch for Hightower and Fitzgerald to have big days.

Detroit at San Francisco (SF -2.5)
Mummer: San Francisco
Are we sure someone has to win this one?

LMOH: Detroit
If they are going to get to Kitna's 10 win mark, they have to beat teams like the Niner's.

St. Louis at Seattle (SEA -5)
Mummer: Seattle
Until the Rams prove they can run the ball effectively, they will continue to lose.

LMOH: Seattle
Who cares?

New Orleans at Denver (DEN -5.5)
Mummer: New Orleans
For all intents and purposes Denver lost that game last week, and Reggie Bush is playing really well. I look for him to do a Darren Sproles impression.

LMOH: Denver
Reggie who?

Pittsburgh at Philadelphia (EVEN)
Mummer: Philadelphia
Fuck Pittsburgh.

LMOH: Philadelphia
For different reasons than mentioned above. As good as Roethlisberger is playing, McNabb is playing even better. A healthy Westbrook and an over achieving receiving core makes this a big day for the Eagles.

Jacksonville at Indianapolis (IND -3.5)
Mummer: Indianapolis
Indy finally snapped out of it last week and Jacksonville is reeling from all the injuries to that OL.

LMOH: Jacksonville
Finally? They didn't even have a losing streak. I like the Colts to win this game. However, I don't think they win by four.

Cleveland at Baltimore (EVEN)
Mummer: Cleveland
If Cleveland is down 2 TD’s in the third quarter, I expect to see Quinn slinging some pigskin.

LMOH: Cleveland
You may see Quinn slinging his junk on Sunday. That's about it.

Dallas at Green Bay (DAL -1.5)
Mummer: Dallas
Great test for Rodgers. I just don’t see him getting off like he has the last couple weeks.

LMOH: Green Bay
I still don't like Romo in big games. That doesn't mean I like Rodgers in big games, it just means that I know less about him in big games.

The Cavs just announced they have signed E.T. to a multi-year deal. No word yet on how many Reese's Pieces he will demand per year.

We’re trying a different format for the predictions this week. I just didn’t like the look of it last week. My eyes were bleeding by the time I finished reviewing my week one picks. Without further ado, here are your week two picks.

Green Bay at Detroit (GNB -5.5)
Mummer: Green Bay
Rodgers looked real sharp against a good Minnesota team. I think Green Bay rolls by a large margin.

Little Mime of Hate: Green Bay
I too am on the Rodgers bandwagon.

Oakland at Kansas City (KC -3.5)
Mummer: Kansas City
I expect a big week for Larry Johnson. Although that doesn’t mean a lot since a big week for Larry Johnson is 100 yards rushing with one TD and no broken bones.

Little Mime of Hate: Oakland
I am going to take the Raiders here. I think KC wins by 3.

New York Giants at St. Louis (NYG -9)
Mummer: New York Giants
Did anyone happen to see the play where Steven Jackson got popped and lost his helmet? It looked like a shampoo commercial for Herbal “Snotbubble” Essences.

Little Mime of Hate: Giants
Missed that play. Though I don't feel too terribly bad for him.

Indianapolis at Minnesota (IND -3)
Mummer: Minnesota
I really don’t want to bet that the Colts will start the season 0-2, but I just don’t think they have any cohesiveness on the offensive side of the ball.
Fantasy Note: I’m terrified that Bob Sanders is going to end Adrian Peterson’s season this weekend.

Little Mime of Hate: Minnesota
Even Tavris Jackson looked pretty good last weekend.

Tennessee at Cincinnati (TEN -2)
Mummer: Cincinnati
What the hell is going on with Vince Young? His family thinks he’s suicidal and instead they find out he’s eating hot wings at a friends house? Too big of a distraction for Tennessee to win this one.

Little Mime of Hate: Tennessee
I still think the Titans find a way put this one away. Speaking of suicidal QB's, shouldn't Palmer be on that list? They would have found me swinging from the rafters this off-season if were in his shoes.

New Orleans at Washington (NO -3)
Mummer: New Orleans
I was way off on my prediction that Washington was going to have a good offense.

Little Mime of Hate: Washington
I think they might have a pretty good offense, but the Giants "D" is just that good.

Chicago at Carolina (CHI -1)
Mummer: Chicago
Carolina barely beat San Diego, whereas Chicago dominated the Colts.

Little Mime of Hate: Carolina
Delhomme may be the difference in this game.

Buffalo at Jacksonville (JAC -1.5)
Mummer: Jacksonville
It wouldn't surprise me if either one of these teams won this week. I just think Jacksonville has more talent.

Little Mime of Hate Buffalo
They looked real sharp last week. Big mo keeps them rolling.

San Francisco at Seattle (SEA -2.5)
Mummer: Seattle
Alex Smith has been placed on the injured reserve list with a broken shoulder. I didn’t know holding a clipboard was such strenuous work.

Little Mime of Hate: Seattle
The Niners are bad. Real bad.

Atlanta at Tampa Bay (TB -4.5)
Mummer: Tampa Bay
No way Atlanta gets off like that again. Matt Ryan got lucky the Lions defense wasn’t expecting him to launch one on the first pass of his career.

Little Mime of Hate: Atlanta
I am going to ride the rookie QB train. Plus, with the Tampa quarterback situation still up in the air, I like Atlanta to steal another. I just hope Matt Ryan doesn't get caught up in some elaborate insider trading scandal.

New England at New York Jets (EVEN)
Mummer: New York Jets
Wow. Last week New England was favored by 13 points, and this week they’re even. No way New England gets over the loss of Brady in time to win this game.

Little Mime of Hate: Pats
No way Billy loses to Farve with a week to prepare.

Miami at Arizona (ARI -4.5)
Mummer: Arizona
This game is the Mr. Irrelevant of NFL match ups this week.

Little Mime of Hate: Arizona
This is a last minute change for me. I think the Zona offense gets rolling this week.

Baltimore at Houston (BAL -1)
Mummer: Houston
Joe Flacco may have been good at home, but I think being chased by Mario Williams on the road will result in a loss.

Little Mime of Hate: Houston
I certainly agree with the above statement. I also think Houston wants to prove they are not as bad as week one would lead you to believe they are.

San Diego at Denver (SD -.5)
Mummer: San Diego
Denver torched a very bad Oakland defense. I’m not saying San Diego is all that much better without Merriman, but the offense bails them out of this one.

Little Mime of Hate: Denver
With Marshall back, the Bronco's offense just might be as high-powered an offense as the Chargers.

Pittsburgh at Cleveland (PIT -6)
Mummer: Cleveland
I hope Romeo Crennel was just looking past Dallas in anticipation of this game. This is a big one for the Brownies.

Little Mime of Hate: Steelers
I hate to pick against the Browns two weeks in a row. However, until they prove they can win a big game, I have to do it.

Philadelphia at Dallas (DAL -3)
Mummer: Dallas
The stage is set for Romo to march his team through the regular season and right into his first Superbowl ring.

Little Mime of Hate: Dallas
The stage is set for Romo to march his team through the regular season and right into another first round choke job. Look at the bright side though, we have found Peyton Manning's replacement.

Admit it, deep down you’re worried the Buckeyes aren’t going to win on Saturday. I can admit it…when I’m alone, huddled in the corner of my closet with a blanket over me I see the Buckeye players on one knee looking up at the scoreboard with that defeated look. But when I'm out in public and someone wants to debate the finer points of why USC will win, my response is “You can’t stop the Buckeye defense”. Normally a good rebuttal, it's safe and has been the answer of choice since "You can't stop Troy Smith". That is unless the person you’re debating said topic with has watched the OU game from last week. But that's why I'm here. We’re going to break this down position by position and see what shakes out.

Quarterback
I’ll come out and say right now that I am not a fan of QB-by-committee. I think Tressel is screwing with Boeckman’s rhythm and it might cost us the game if he inserts Pryor at the wrong time. This situation brings back memories of 2005 when Tressel decided to play both Troy Smith and Justin Zwick against Texas. Neither one got into a rhythm and it showed. Even with all that though, Mark Sanchez is making his first start against a quality opponent. Yes he “torched” the Virginia defense two weeks ago, but do you really think Virginia’s defense is anywhere near Ohio State’s?
When it comes right down to it, Boeckman led this Ohio State squad to a National Championship last year. So he gets the edge in this battle.
Edge: Ohio State

Running Back
If Wells was healthy there wouldn’t even be a debate. Unfortunately, he’s not and is now listed as doubtful for the game Saturday. That leaves us with Maurice Wells and Daniel Herron who were adequate against Ohio last week. USC has four running backs that will likely all see time in some capacity. Each one has their strengths, much like the Ohio State running game. If you want speed, insert Player X. If you want power, insert Player Y. If the USC running game gets off to a good start against the Buckeye defense, it’s gonna be a long day.
Edge: USC

Wide Receiver
Between Small, Hartline, and Robiskie you’re not going to get a receiver that’s going to set the world on fire. What you’re going to get is three guys that play their position extremely well and can make plays when it counts. For the Trojans, they have two solid receivers in Vidal Hazelton and Damian Williams. I don’t know much about either of these guys except to say that Damian Williams is a transfer from Arkansas who had to sit out last season because of the transfer. As for Vidal, you could say that he is the Trojans version of Brian Hartline. The Buckeyes get the edge in this because of the chemistry with Boeckman and they know what it’s like to play in big games.
Edge: Ohio State

Offensive Line
Let’s not bore anyone with this. The Buckeyes didn’t lose anyone and the Trojans lost four starters. Yes the Buckeyes O-Line looked terrible last week, but I think that was a result of looking ahead too much.
Edge: Ohio State

Defense
I’m going to just look at defense as the whole package for this one. Trying to break down each position will ultimately prove futile since the defensive unit acts as one. That being said, I really feel both teams are pretty evenly matched. The linebackers cancel each other out, as do the D-Line’s. That just leaves the DB’s, of which the Buckeyes steal the show. If only for the simple fact that Malcolm Jenkins returned for his senior year, I’m giving this edge to the Buckeyes.
Edge: Ohio State

Yikes, Ohio State dominated almost every category. Maybe I’m a little biased, but in my defense I just don’t put a lot of stock into any of the games that either team has played up until now. Virginia is terrible. They lost their best defensive player, Chris Long, and their best Offensive player, Jameel Sewell, from last year. Did anyone expect them not to get stomped?
I’m not buying into USC as this huge power-house after they blew out a shitty team.
My prediction for this game, Ohio State Wins 27-24.

Week one is in the books and the season looks much different now then it did a week ago. Tom Brady and Shawn Merriman are gone for the year. These are huge blows to both teams who look to these guys for inspiration when the game is on the line. On the home front, the Browns got worked by the Cowboys and suddenly everyone, me included, is re-examining those lofty expectations for this season. The D-Line that was supposedly solidified in the off-season looked worse than last year. I agree with the LMoH, it’s hard to pin this loss solely on the secondary when the D-Line is giving Romo enough to time to take a nap in the pocket. And is it just me, or did the offense looked completely flat throughout the entire game. They played like they were up by 20 points. This loss deserves to be placed squarely on the shoulders of Romeo Crennel. It’s his job to fire up the team AND make good decisions in critical moments. He did neither of those this weekend.

Now, on to the week one prediction results. The Little Mime of Hate has come out with an 8-8 record while I’m floundering at 6-10. The Lions and Seahawks really screwed me.

Here are some quick hits from this weekend’s football weekend.

*The Steelers looked REALLY good.
*Ohio State and the Browns did not. I’ll touch one the Brown’s a little more later.
*Washington/BYU - How is flipping the football over your head a 15 yard penalty?
*Notre Dame, despite their victory, continues to be a joke. How does Weiss continue to get the benefit of the doubt?
*Michigan played just good enough to win.
*So did Ohio State.
*Is ECU really that good?
*I am still sick and tired of Brett Farve. Come on people! It was the Dolphins! By the way, how good does my prediction of this game look now? Not quite 100%. But I damn near called it. Allow me to pause while I pat myself on the back.
*Starting Schaub instead of Rivers in my Fantasy League was not as smart as I thought it would be.

The Browns *UGH*
Where to begin. For the moment I am going to overlook the dropped passes by Edwards and Winslow. I am also going to overlook how poorly the o-line played. I am also going to overlook the fact that on any given play, Romo had 45 seconds to get rid of the football. You have 4th and 3 with 10 minutes to play. You are down 21. I have 2 questions. 1. Why the hell didn’t he go for it? 2. Why the hell didn’t he go for it.

The Wolverines
As I mentioned earlier, they played just good enough beat a bottom feeder MAC team. Here is what I took out of the game. The defense is coming around and looked pretty solid save for a couple of late drives by Miami. I’ll take it. Steven Threet has potential. But wait, what do they say about potential? It means you suck now. While I wouldn’t go that far with it, he does need to work on his decision making and accuracy. Given that he is facing the fire for the first time, I can live with it. What I love about the guys is his elusiveness. Granted, it was Miami (OH), but he seemed to have a knack for making guys miss when he scrambled. While I am not promising victory just yet, I do believe he is the kind of quarterback that could cause Ohio State problems. IF, he works on his decision making and accuracy.

It’s week one in the NFL and to celebrate, we’re gonna help you burn some money. Seriously, if you take our advice or place any bets based on either of our picks, you’re a moron. We’re making these picks purely for the fun of it. To our one fan and avid reader, feel free to lock in a couple picks of your own down in the comment section. If you’re picks play out better than ours, maybe we’ll have some sort of prize for you. Probably not, but play along anyway.
Point Spread courtesy of Bodog

Redskins +4.5
Giants -4.5
Mummer: Redskins
The Giants D is questionable, and I really like the Skins offense this year.

Little Mime of Hate: Giants


Bengals -2
Ravens +2
Mummer: Bengals
I’m thinking of driving down to Baltimore and winning the starting QB job for next week.

LMoH: Bengals
What a stellar week one match-up. I'm thinking about watching
Battlestar Gallactica instead.

Jets -3
Dolphins +3
Mummer: Jets
The Favre era starts with a bang as he torches the Dolphins.

LMoH: Dolphins
I am going out on a limb here. I think Chad Pennington muscles up and throws a 25 yard hail mary for the winner.

Chiefs +13
Patriots -13
Mummer: Chiefs
No way the Patriots get off to that great a start.

LMoH: Patriots
The Pat's don't have to get off to a great start. Croyle is going to throw 4 int's. By the way, I believe he is still available in our Fantasy league.

Texans +6.5
Steelers -6.5
Mummer: Texans
I just don’t see the Steelers winning. No reason to support it.

LMoH: Steelers
You are really down on the Steelers. Not only do they cover, but Ahman Green gets hurt. Is that really a bold prediction?

Jaguars -3
Titans +3
Mummer: Titans
Too many off the field issues cost JAX this game.

LMoH: Jags
They play an inspired game for their boy in the ICU.

Lions -3
Falcons +3
Mummer: Lions
That’s all the Lions are giving?

LMoH: Lions
I agree. Shouldn't they be favored by 10 or so? Even if QB Matt Ryan is the real deal, who is going to catch the ball. And I'm sorry, but the jury is still out on Michael Turner.

Seahawks +1
Bills -1
Mummer: Seahawks
Seahawks have a good defense. That’s all I know.

LMoH: Push
Who gives a damn about this game? But if I must, I too will take the Seahawks.

Buccaneers +3.5
Saints -3.5
Mummer: Buccaneers
The Saints practiced all week in Indy, then fly back home to NO for this game.

LMoH: Saints
Katrina part 2. Even though it's not really the same thing. They once again rally the chocolate city. Only for a week though.

Rams +7.5
Eagles -7.5
Mummer: Rams
The Eagles don’t have any receivers, and the Rams are healthy. But just for this week.

LMoH: Eagles
The Rams are just that bad.

Cowboys -6
Browns +6
Mummer: Browns
I just don’t see them losing by 6.

LMoH: Cowboys
This is a tough one. I have the Cowboys D in our FFL, but i would really like to see the Brown's get over. In the end, Romo slices dices a weak secondary.

Panthers +9
Chargers -9
Mummer: Chargers
Holy crap the Panthers are terrible.

LMoH: Chargers


Cardinals -2.5
49ers +2.5
Mummer: Cardinals
Alex Smith = Tim Couch
JT O’Sullivan = Kelly Holcomb
Am I wrong?

LMoH: Cardinals
Not entirely. But to be sure you'll have to answer one question for me. Who is J.T. O'Sullivan?

Bears +10
Colts -10
Mummer: Bears
Maybe in a couple weeks I take the Colts by 10, but not this week.

LMoH: Colts
As good as the Bears D is (Allegedly) the Colts 40 minutes worth of possession wears them down. I will say this, Kyle Orton decides this game. Also, watch out for Matt Forte.

Vikings +2
Packers -2
Mummer: Vikings
The Packers are going to regret letting Brett go. It’s gonna get ugly.

LMoH: Packers
I like Rodgers. And is Tavris... Tavari....Tarvis Jackson really a go to guy?

Broncos -3
Raiders +3
Mummer: Broncos
Cutler and Marshall are quite the combo. Can’t say the same about Russell and…

LMoH: Broncos
Hmmmm...Marshall is out this week. D.B. Did Javon Walker ever get his bling back? Maybe that will help finish your sentence. One thing is for sure, he is still overrated.

We’re gonna try something new here today. The Little Mime of Hate and will be combining our posts to lay out our predictions for the AFC North. So without further ado…

1st Place
Mummer: Cleveland Browns (10-6)
I didn’t put them here because it’s the hometown team. I did it for a few reasons, the first being that they are stacked on offense. Great WR group, a bruising RB, a SOLDIER at TE, possibly one of the best offensive lines in the NFL, and one great QB. Unfortunately, the great QB is sitting on the bench in favor of Kelly Holcomb’s illegitimate son. The defensive side of the ball is a big question mark, but I think the additions to the D-Line will help tremendously. The only weak spot on this team is at DB, but I don’t think it will be the issue everyone thinks it will be. Wright and McDonald were solid last year, and don’t forget that we have Sean Jones and Brodney Pool patrolling the backyard with them.

Little Mime of Hate: Pittsburgh Steelers (10-6)
As much as I want to buy into this, I am not sold yet. The secondary got pasted in the preseason. That is not a good sign. The other problem i have is that the Browns haven't proved the can beat the Steelers yet. To win the North, they are going to have to at least split. Steelers win the north. I think 10-6 is a good mark. 9-7 wouldn't surprise me either.

PS. It's Soldia.


2nd Place
Mummer: Baltimore Ravens (8-8)
I know this is going to surprise some people, but I really think they will end up here at the end of the year. Troy Smith is going to surprise a lot of people that didn’t get to watch him every Saturday while he was in Columbus. Plus, that defense is going to keep you in almost every game you play.

LMoH: Cleveland Browns (8-8/9-7)
You are a g.d. moron. Brown's find a way to take 2nd. 8-8 or 9-7 will get it done. The Bengals close in with a late season run.


3rd Place
Mummer: Pittsburgh Steelers (7-9)
The offensive line is horrendous. Willie Parker is banged up. Ben Roethlisberger is a b---.
I think that pretty much sums up this team.

LMoH: Cincinnati Bengals (8-8)
Ugh. Bengals finish on a tear to get to 8-8. A sweep by the Brown's keeps them in 3rd.


4th Place
Mummer: Cincinnati Bengals (4-12)
I truly feel bad for Carson Palmer. He leaves everything on the field, never complains and his reward is having to put up with a team of misfits. He fits in with that team about as well as Michael will fit in at West Beverly High. I can see it now, Shannon Doherty looks at him and asks "How my hair look Mike?" To which he replies "You look good girl" and then promptly shoots her in the earhole.

LMoH: Baltimore Ravens (5-11)
While I agree with your assessment of Palmer, how about Troy Smith. As you read this keep one thing in mind, I HATE TROY SMITH. Now, the guys works his ass off to get in back in game shape after weighing in at 300lbs against Florida, basically wins the starting job. All he has to do is be semi-impressive in his starting role in the preseason. What happens? The guys gets Polio or the plague or something like that and is quarantined. Quarantined I say. Who gets quarantined? Ravens finish sub .500 again. If they're lucky they get to 5-11.

PS. Love the 90210/The Wire reference. Is he going to be the guy that says.... "damn" and "That's whack!"?