We couldn't have been given a worse slate of games for what was produced on Thursday. In fact they weren't games, they were slaughters. The closest game was Seattle/Dallas and that game was over after the first quarter. Fortunately, looking at this weekend we should see some closer games.


Game of the Week
Pittsburgh at New England (NE -1)
Mummer: New England
The Hoodie has Cassel thinking he's the best QB in the league, and he's playing like it. Open your minds and let me drop this little nugget on you...Tom Brady has thrown for 400+ yds once in his career. Cassel has done it twice...in a row...in one season. Not saying this means he's a better QB than Brady, just saying that he's playing at a very high level right now.

LMoH: Steelers
I get it. Cassel is starting to look like a legit QB. The Mummer knows I am a staunch "Hoodie" supporter. However, that Steelers defense is wicked good, to put it in terms the Mummer can understand.

Irrelevant Game of the Week
Kansas City at Oakland (OAK -6)
Mummer: Kansas City
I can't figure either of these teams out. I'm not gonna be surprised by anything that happens in this game.

LMoH: Chiefs
Jesus. It gets harder and harder to do a write-up for this game. I think Bobby Thigpen is finally starting to get into a groove and Jamarcus Russell is a piece of crap. I take the chiefs by default.

Hometown Game of the Week
Indianapolis at Cleveland (IND -8.5)
Mummer: Cleveland
DA is gonna tear shit up this week. That's our luck. He's gonna finish the season strong and Cleveland will head into the off season with another choice to make at QB.

LMoH: Colts
There is no choice to make at QB. Unless of course DA goes back-up punter on Brady and stabs him in the hand. In the meantime, the Browns continue to look like Jamarcus Russell and lose this one handily.

The Rest
San Francisco at Buffalo (BUF -5.5)
Mummer: Buffalo
LMoH: Bills

Baltimore at Cincinnati (BAL -5.5)
Mummer: Baltimore
LMoH: Ravens

Carolina at Green Bay (EVEN)
Mummer: Green Bay
LMoH: Panthers

Miami at St. Louis (MIA -10)
Mummer: St. Louis
LMoH: Dolphins

New Orleans at Tampa Bay (EVEN)
Mummer: New Orleans
LMoH: Saints

New York Giants at Washington (NYG -4)
Mummer: New York
LMoH: Giants

Atlanta at San Diego (ATL -1)
Mummer: San Diego
LMoH: Falcons

Denver at New York Jets (NYJ -8.5)
Mummer: New York Jets
LMoH: Jets

Chicago at Minnesota (MIN -1.5)
Mummer: Chicago
LMoH: Bears

Jacksonville at Houston (HOU -2)
Mummer: Jacksonville
LMoH: Jaguars

It's Thanksgiving. Enjoy the holiday, enjoy the games.

Best Thursday Game
Arizona at Philadelphia (ARI -2.5)
Mummer: Arizona
I'm not sure why people are surprised that the Eagles are playing terrible football right now. They've been terrible all year. Their five wins are against the Rams, Steelers, 49ers, Falcons and Seahawks. Not to mention they TIED the CINCINNATI BENGALS! Even the Browns were able to manage a win against Cincinnati. Kurt Warner and the three-monster that is the Cardinals receivers are going to tear Philly up.

LMoH: Cardinals
As much as I like the Cards in this one, Philly scares me. Sooner or later they are going to get their shit together. In the meantime, here's an Arizona team that is out to prove they hang with NFC East. Even if it is the NFC East subdivision.

Worst Thursday Game
Seattle at Dallas (DAL -11)
Mummer: Seattle
I know Seattle has two wins on the season but they can definitely win this game. Hasselbeck has kept his team in the last two games (but also gave them away) so I see a win here.

LMoH: Seahawks
Very mixed on this one. I agree with the Mummer, but that Seahawks defense should be ashamed of themselves. I mean really, Holmgren should walk up to them with a rolled up newspaper, smack them on the nose and say "Bad!"

Mildly Interesting Thursday Game
Tennessee at Detroit (TEN -11.5)
Mummer: Tennessee
I'm gonna regret this pick on Friday.

LMoH: Titans
Why?

I couldn't have been more wrong about Cincinnati this week. In my defense though, I made that pick before Chad Ocho Cinco was made inactive. Still, he wouldn't have made enough of a difference to help Cincinnati keep that game closer.


Game of the Week
New York Jets at Tennessee (TEN -2)
Mummer: Tennessee
The Jets have a fantastic chance of winning this game. I just have a hard time picking against a 10-0 team.

LMoH: Titans
Mostly because I hate Farve. With his style, and filthy Titans defense, I am betting on a 3int performance from our favorite attention whore.

Irrelevant Game of the Week
Buffalo at Kansas City (BUF -4)
Mummer: Buffalo
This is gonna be a miserable game.

LMoH: Chiefs
I like the Chiefs to get a win here against a Bills team that looks like Frodo in the 3rd installment of the rings trilogy.

Hometown Game of the Week
Houston at Cleveland (CLE -2.5)
Mummer: Cleveland
If the LMoH picks against Cleveland I have just one thing to say to him "Go root for Houston - Fuck you."

LMoH: Browns
Here's the thing, the Browns have won in the weeks i picked against them. We'll if the trend continues. Look for Steve Slaton to post about 42 fantasy points this week.

The Rest
San Francisco at Dallas (DAL -6.5)
Mummer: San Francisco
LMoH: Dallas

Tampa Bay at Detroit (TB -7.5)
Mummer: Tampa Bay
LMoH: Bucs

Chicago at St. Louis (CHI -7)
Mummer: St. Louis
LMoH: Bears

New England at Miami (MIA -1)
Mummer: New England
LMoH: Patriots

Minnesota at Jacksonville (MIN -2)
Mummer: Jacksonville
LMoH: Jags

Philadelphia at Baltimore (BAL -1.5)
Mummer: Philadelphia
LMoH:Ravens

Oakland at Denver (DEN -9.5)
Mummer: Denver
LMoH: Broncos

Carolina at Atlanta (EVEN)
Mummer: Atlanta
LMoH: Panthers

New York Giants at Arizona (NYG -4.5)
Mummer: Arizona
LMoH: Giants

Washington at Seattle (WAS -5.5)
Mummer: Seattle
LMoH: Redskins

Indianapolis at San Diego (IND -4)
Mummer: Indianapolis
LMoH: Colts

Green Bay at New Orleans (EVEN)
Mummer: Green Bay
LMoH: Packers

Well, we’ve reached the end of the regular season for our beloved Buckeyes. It feels like just yesterday USC was crushing our collective pelvises with repeated knee kicks to the groin. Tomorrow the Buckeyes welcome a free-falling Michigan Wolverines team that so badly needs this win to bring some sort of respectability back to this season. Hmmmm, about that…

According to Bodog, the Buckeyes are 21 point favorites. I never thought I’d see the day that this rivalry would have a 21 point favorite. But, with Pryor and Wells running wild the last few games and Michigan banged up at QB and RB, that’s where we stand.

Over the last week reports have been coming out that Rodriguez may be out after one season and some key players may be contemplating transferring. I personally feel that all of these reports are a little far fetched, but if the Buckeyes do lay a 21+ point ass whooping on the Wolverines, we may just see some of those stories come to fruition.

Because the Little Mime of Hate is such a die-hard Wolverines fan, I figured we’d get his take on this, a little two-for-one action.

LMoH: Is it possible that Uncle Rico is playing possum? Sure it is. Is it possible that he has a whole new playbook to unveil Saturday that will throw the Buckeyes off their game? Sure it is. Let’s all step back into reality now. Michigan is in trouble. I’ll save the majority of my editorializing for the year in review and try to stick to Saturday’s game. In order for Michigan to win they are going to have come out and play the perfect game. We’re talking eight guys in the box, shut down Wells and force Prior to throw the football. They’ll have to run the ball well early and eat some clock. Hopefully they can get out to one of their early leads and maybe maintain it this time. Again, let's step back into reality. A reality that I don’t even want to think about.

I love the defeated tone in the LMoH's writing. It's good to be an Ohio State fan right now.

Holy shit, I am WORKING the Little Mime of Hate to this point! But, while I should be riding high because of this, I'm actually a little down in the dumps. We've recently received a cease and decist letter from Mr. Goodell. Apparently he didn't take kindly to us referring to the Thursday night game as the "Dickhead Game of the Week, Sponsored by Roger Goodell". So, we started looking for new sponsors and boy have we hit the jackpot. Brace yourselves everyone, the Thursday night game will now be referred to as the "Juggs Machine Game of the Week, Sponsored by Stuart Scott's Creepy Ass Eyeball". If you don't get the reference, follow this link. You're welcome.

Oh, and before you get all bent out of shape about this, please know I mean no disrespect. That dead eye is as cool as the other side of the pillow. Boo-yah!


Juggs Machine Game of the Week
Sponsored by Stuart Scott's Creepy Ass Eyeball
Cincinnati at Pittsburgh (PIT -8.5)
Mummer: Cincinnati
Hines Ward broke Keith Rivers' jaw in the last matchup. The Bengals are out for blood in this one. No way Pittsburgh wins by 8.5.

LMoH: Steelers

I disagree. I like the Steelers here. That defense is just filthy. I expect them to lay the wood too a Bengals offense that will now be missing Chad Johnson. Hoosh might get in the endzone, but it will end there. 

The LMoH and I are both 0-0-1 after the Thursday night thriller. If you would have told me Thursday morning that Matt Cassel would have thrown for 400 yds and 3 TDs, I would have said "Who is Matt Cassel?".
Thank you, thank you, now on to the picks.


Game of the Week
Dallas at Washington (EVEN)
Mummer: Dallas
The return of Tony Romo. How will he perform? How does his hand feel? I don't know, but I'm sure Madden will tell us at least 50 times.

Little Mime of Hate: Redskins
I think the skins pull this off even without Portis. Expect a big game out of Tight End Chris Cooley. 

Irrelevant Game of the Week
St. Louis at San Francisco (SF -4)
Mummer: San Francisco
I'm moving my J.O. session* with Katie Morgan up if this is the only 4:00pm game being televised.

LMoH: Niners
What's the over under on spiking the ball references. It seems that will be the only point of interest in this game. 

Hometown Game of the Week
Cleveland at Buffalo (BUF -2.5)
Mummer: Cleveland
After starting the year 4-0, the Bills have lost four of their last five games. The Browns will have had 10 days to prepare. Anything less than a win should result in Romeo's pink slip.

LMoH: Bills
I am done picking the Browns for a while. They disgust me. Even a win should mean a pink slip. I don't recall ever watching such a poorly managed team. 

The Rest
Denver at Atlanta (ATL -2.5)
Mummer: Atlanta
LMoH: Falcons

Philadelphia at Cincinnati (PHI -7.5)
Mummer: Philadelphia
LMoH: Eagles

Chicago at Green Bay (EVEN)
Mummer: Green Bay
LMoH: Bears

Houston at Indianapolis (IND -9.5)
Mummer: Houston
LMoH: Texans

New Orleans at Kansas City (NO -5.5)
Mummer: New Orleans
LMoH: Chiefs

Oakland at Miami (MIA -8)
Mummer: Miami
LMoH: Dolphins

Baltimore at New York Giants (NYG -5.5)
Mummer:New York Giants
LMoH: Ravens

Minnesota at Tampa Bay (TB -1.5)
Mummer: Tampa Bay
LMoH:Bucs

Detroit at Carolina (CAR -12)
Mummer: Detroit
LMoH: Lions

Arizona at Seattle (ARI -5.5)
Mummer: Arizona
LMoH: Cardinals

Tennessee at Jacksonville (TEN -7)
Mummer: Jacksonville
LMoH: Titans

San Diego at Pittsburgh (PIT -4)
Mummer: San Diego
LMoH: Steelers

*J.O. aka Jerk Off

Last week I introduced you to the "Thursday Night Dickhead Game of the Week". It was well received. By that I mean, we don't have any readers therefore I didn't receive any negative feedback. Because of that, I'm gonna keep going with it.

Thursday Night Dickhead Game of the Week
Sponsered by Roger Goodell
New York Jets at New England (NE -3)
Mummer: New York Jets
I don't have much to say about this game. I feel the Jets win by at least two touchdowns. The Patriots aren't good enough to beat the Jets twice this year, and Favre is capable of dropping 5 TD's on you at any moment.
What I do want to talk about is this.



I felt you needed to know this.

Little Mime of Hate: Patriots
Despite Thomas being the 53rd member of the patriots 53 man roster to go on the I.R., I like the Pats in this. We all know Bill hates to lose to the guy he mentored and we may actually see him go Tanya Harding on Brett Farve, which I am ok with. The only thing that would bother me about this is that the game is on the NFL network, and I won't get to see Farve rolling around the field screaming, "Why Me?!? Why Me?!?" On another note, I reserve the right to change my pick if Jim Tressel's greatest recruit ever, Shawn Crable, starts tonight.

..."Random Thoughts" may be the most unimaginative title for a blog post, but it's done me well so far, so I'm gonna roll with it.

...That's right Jim Tressel! Going for the fake punt in the fourth quarter up 21 points. That's how you get some respect in the eyes of the bowl voters. Run up the score!

...Troy Smith who?



...and finally a tribute to Richard Riehle, the hardest working man in Hollywood. He's not dead or anything, but holy shit give it a rest son. Not every movie made over the last 20 years needs the walrus mustache.

Tom Smykowski: Well-well look. I already told you: I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?

Well, the Little Mine of Hate and myself are already in the hole 0-1 after the Browns defense decided to take a nice big shit mid-field at the Browns Stadium. Thanks guys.


Game of the Week
New York Giants at Philadelphia (NYG -1.5)
Mummer: Philadelphia
I have no defense for picking Philly. I think the NYG defense is filthy, and Brandon Jacobs punishes the opposing team. I just feel like Philly is gonna show up for this one.

LMoH: Giants
I too think the Eagles arrive. However, I just can't pick against the Giants. They have proven me wrong too many times.

Irrelevant Game of the Week
Kansas City at San Diego (SD -4.5)
Mummer: San Diego
Not one must watch player between these two teams. Don't even think about saying LT.

LMoH: Chargers
I would say Phillip Rivers. The guy is having a great season considering he is getting no help from anyone.


New Orleans at Atlanta (ATL -2)
Mummer: Atlanta
LMoH: Falcons

Tennessee at Chicago (TEN -2)
Mummer: Tennessee
LMoH: Titans
Side note: I loved the Bears in this one until Orton went down.

Jacksonville at Detroit (JAC -3.5)
Mummer: Jacksonville
LMoH: Jaguars

Seattle at Miami (MIA -7)
Mummer: Miami
LMoH: Seahawks

Green Bay at Minnesota (MIN -1)
Mummer: Green Bay
LMoH: Packers

Buffalo at New England (NE -1.5)
Mummer: Buffalo
LMoH: Patriots

St. Louis at New York Jets (NYJ -7.5)
Mummer: New York Jets
LMoH: Rams

Baltimore at Houston (BAL -1)
Mummer: Houston
LMoH: Ravens

Carolina at Oakland (CAR -9.5)
Mummer: Carolina
LMoH: Panthers

Indianapolis at Pittsburgh (PIT -6.5)
Mummer: Indianapolis
LMoH: Steelers

San Francisco at Arizona (ARI -8.5)
Mummer: Arizona
LMoH: Cardinals

Let’s jump right into this. Kellen Winslow lost that game last night. His fumble in the 4th quarter leads to a TD, and then he lets the ball slip through his hands to end the game. I can’t be the only one that feels he’s way overdue for a blanket party. Willie McGinest needs to get this done.

Oh and while we’re at it, can we get Brandon McDonald a bed out there? He was sleepwalking through the entire game! Then, just to make sure everyone knew that he was tired he lays down in the end zone to take a nap so Brandon Marshall could kill my hopes of having a good fantasy and reality weekend.

Why do Joe Paterno press conferences look like they are being broadcast from 1973? I keep waiting for the camera to pull back on Joe Pa to reveal Linda Lovelace and Harry Reems standing in the background.

The Nike commercial with LT and Troy Polamalu might be the greatest commercial in years. Rivaled only by last years “Leave Nothing” commercial with Steven Jackson and Shawn Merriman where they leap through different games while going the length of the football field.

Speaking of great commercials, do yourself a favor and burn an hour perusing this site.

Jim Carrey has obviously reached the end of his career. Why else would he remake "Liar, Liar"?

And finally, the Little Mime of Hate and I had a little disagreement as to whether or not Chris Meloni is in “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III”, more affectionately known as “Turtles in Time”. I maintain that he is, but he proved me wrong by emailing me the cast from IMDB.com. I know Meloni is in this movie, and before you respond saying that I’m mistaking him for Elias Koteas, know that I am aware of the difference and still maintain that Meloni is in the movie. My homework for you the reader is to go rent “TMNT 3” and tell me if Meloni is in it. I don’t want to waste the money.

I really hate Thursday night NFL games, it throws my whole week out of whack. Setting my fantasy football lineup on a Wednesday is only something I should have to do if I'm going out of town. Not to mention, now we have to make our NFL picks two days sooner than normal. All because Roger Goodell is a dick.

Because of this we've decided that all Thursday night games will be referred to as "Thursday Night Dickhead Game of the Week" sponsored by Roger Goodell. Plus as an added bonus this week, because the Browns are playing, it's also the "Hometown Game of the Week", thus giving us the "Thursday Night Hometown Dickhead Game of the Week" sponsored by Roger Goodell. Now, on to the pick.


Thursday Night Hometown Dickhead Game of the Week
Sponsored by Roger Goodell

Denver at Cleveland (CLE -1)
Mummer: Cleveland
Brady Quinn gets the start. Finally! The only problem is that he gets one day of practice with the first team to get ready. Normally this would worry me, but HE'S BRADY FREAKIN QUINN! I'm more worried about Derek Anderson being able to adjust to the pine pony. Luckily he spent some time their before last year, so he knows what to expect.
Also, I really want to draw some attention to how fortunate we are to have Josh Cribbs on this team. We all know his ability to take one the distance at any moment. But what often goes unnoticed is his ability to make tackles on the coverage team. He's unbelievable. He gets to balls quicker than Tom Brady's mouth, and that's saying something. Do yoursef a favor tomorrow and checkout his coverage skills. Really a thing of beauty.

LMoH: Browns
I am only picking the Browns because it is the "Thursday Night Hometown Dickhead Game of the Week", otherwise I would take the Broncos. The real reason I like the Browns in this game is because Brady Quinn is starting. I believe Quinn is going to have a pretty rough night, 100-125 yards, 2-3 picks and maybe a touchdown. What makes the game appealing to me is Jamal Lewis. I think we are going to see a healthy dose of Lewis tonight, both rushing and receiving. This how the Browns get the win tonight. On a side note, would the Browns please wise up and move Winslow to the slot and start Heiden at TE. Please?!? For the love of God, please!?!

You ready for this America!?!

In a perfect world the University of Michigan would have taken a better look at Iowa’s Kirk Ferentz. In a perfect world the Michigan players would have responded well to the coaching change and played out of their minds this season. In a perfect world Michigan wouldn’t have had 2 of its worst recruiting classes ever the last 2 seasons. In a perfect world Sam McGuffie would be closing in on an invitation to New York. In a perfect world this Michigan football team would be willing to play 4 quarters of football. In a perfect world Uncle Rico would be able to get his players to play 4 quarters of football. In a perfect world Uncle Rico would accept he doesn’t have the talent for the spread offense and wait to implement it. In a perfect world Michigan wouldn’t be ending it’s 33 year run of Bowl games. In a perfect world Uncle Rico wouldn’t have called Michigan State their biggest rival.

But alas, it is not a perfect world and as a result, I can’t even tell you who Michigan played today. It’s not because I have lost my faith in the program or am no longer a fan. It’s unwatchable. I’d rather watch a bad WNBA game. They are playing bad football and to cap it off, they are a poorly managed team. However, there is a bright spot. Maybe, just maybe, there is a reason Uncle Rico isn’t getting 4 quarters of football out of his team. They are only using half of their playbook. Maybe the Michigan State comment was an attempt to throw-off the Buckeyes. Maybe, he has a whole separate game plan. Maybe he has realized that in his first season he doesn’t have to go 11-1 to keep his job. He only has to go 1-11. If that one is Ohio State. The Mummer has heard me say it 100 times, I have no problem going 1-11 if they beat Ohio State. Of course I want National and Big Ten Championships. What I want even more is to see the Buckeye’s weep at the hands of the Maize and Blue. It would certainly appear that day will not come this year. In fact, this is the first season I can remember that I actually conceded the game to all of my Ohio State buddies. Maybe, just maybe Uncle Rico will make a liar of me.