The Cleveland Sports Mimes

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It's time to hand out some good old fashion ass whoopin's.

Below is a list of athletes or sports figures that deserve an old school ass whoopin' and the reason why.

Tiger Woods
Not because I dislike him. Because what he did at Torrey Pines is absolutely disgusting.

Adam Jones
Not for all the reasons that you're thinking. Check out this quote in response to comments that Don Imus made in reference to Jones. I tell you what, let's roll Mr. Imus first. "What people should be outraged about is that they arrest blacks for no reason," Imus said Tuesday. "I mean, there's no reason to arrest this kid six times. Maybe he did something once, but everyone does something once." Personally I have no issue with that statement. Maybe it's because I don't what it's like to grow up in black America. Or maybe it's because he is right. Nonetheless, Jones was quick to offer his spiritual assistance. "I'm truly upset about the comments," Jones said. "Obviously Mr. Imus has problems with African-Americans. I'm upset, and I hope the station he works for handles it accordingly. I will pray for him." I wish Adam would pray for me.

Shaquille O'Neal
Shaq had yet another opportunity to have the last laugh. We all know he hates Kobe and doesn't want him anywhere near a ring. He doesn't need to rap about it.

Cedric Benson
After telling everyone he was wrongly arrested for DUI while on his boat, he goes and gets arrested again for DUI. Don't worry Ced, I am sure Adam will pray for you as well. If that fails, and it will, perhaps you could enlist Joe Cullen.

Brittney Griner
I don't know or care who she is either. It just pisses me off that horse racing women's basketball made the front page of (see below).
"Brittney Griner wants to change women's basketball. She's 6-8. She dunks. She fights. And she's still learning."
For the love of god! Would someone please put the WNBA out of it's Eight Belles like misery?!?

Javon Walker

Bill Simmons (The Sports Guy)
The way I figure it, that's the only way the March is going to make its way to Page 2.