The Cleveland Sports Mimes

AvatarA blog about Cleveland sports and whatever else we feel like talking about.

The Cutting Room Floor (6/8)

Kneel Before Me!
Youngstown native Kelly Pavlic retains his Middleweight championship by knocking out Gary Lockett in the third round, while Lockett secured a spot in next Easter's "Stations of the Cross" re-enactment.

Big Brown Stinker
Big Brown left a big brown one on the track in his bid to become the first Triple Crown winner in 30 years. Instead, it was Da' Tara, a 38-1 long shot who surged ahead early and won by running faster than all the other horses with munchkins strapped to their backs.

The Cleveland Gladiators pushed their record to 8-6 and improved their chances of making the playoffs. I'll start caring about the Gladiators when Bernie suits up and starts throwing side-arm bombs to Webster Slaughter. And don't even start to say that they are too old. If Vinny Testaverde can suit up and still throw more interceptions than touchdowns on a consistent basis, than old Bernie can lay off the sauce and throw on some pads.

Fingers Crossed
Terry Cousin is now a member of the Cleveland Browns after signing a two-year deal this past week. The signing was prompted after Daven Holly was injured in his first practice after signing a one-year deal with the team. Cousin is expected to start practicing immediately on a bed of pillows while wrapped in foam.

The Perfect Storm
Pacman Jones was granted reinstatement into the NFL last week and has already become friends with Deion Sanders, Michael Irvin, and Tank Johnson. Wow, nothing say's I've put all the strip-clubs, womanizing, and gun play behind me like hanging out with a bunch of womanizing, strip-club hopping, gun loving group of guys. This should end well.

Oh That's Nasty
Kimbo Slice defeated James Thompson last week by popping a massive zit on the side of Thompson's ear.
Seriously, how do you not get that thing drained before a fight? And if you're Kimbo, how do you not aim for that right away. He should have popped that thing with his first punch.