I admit it. We dropped the ball by not giving our analysis for the Cleveland Cavaliers draft pick sooner than this. But without further ado, let us help introduce J.J. Hickson.
Hickson is a 6'9" Power Forward out of N.C. State where he played just one year but quickly emerged as their leader. This past season he averaged 14.8 PPG with 8.5 RPG and 1.5 BPG. Not bad, not stellar, but steady. Everything I've read on Hickson say's that he plays well with his back to the basket, and that's where he'll get most of his work done. To be honest, I wasn't thrilled with this pick when it came around. But the more I've thought about it, it's looking like a solid pick. The Cavs absolutely needed to get younger down low with most of the big guys being over 30, excluding Varejao. Hickson will give us youth and athleticism at a position that was burned in the playoffs.
The big "Wow" note being attached to Hickson is that in his first game with N.C. State, he scored 31 points on 12-12 shooting from the floor. I feel it's only fair to point out that this was done against William & Mary, which I'm fairly certain is an all girls college.
With all the talk about Hickson, many have forgotten that we also obtained the draft rights to Darnell Jackson by giving the Miami Heat one of our second-round picks in next years draft. Also acquired was Sasha Kaun who will probably fill Lance Allred's position as the big-tall-white guy who sits at the end of the bench, so we're not gonna talk about him.
Jackson, like Kaun, played for the Kansas Jayhawks for four years. His senior year saw him average 11.2 PPG with 6.7 RPG. Jackson should provide the Cavaliers with a polished role-player to come off the bench. I'm not gonna lie to you...I don't know s--- about Jackson. I didn't really follow the Big 12 this year, or any of the other year's he played there. But I'm sure the Cavs know what they were doing. It's not like they've made any major draft mistakes in the past few years...

The Basement. It's cold, it's dark and it's lonely. When you've been relegated to it, you find yourself wondering how it all happened. How did you end up down here with the blue birds and the sailors? You're supposed to be better than that right?
Any extended stay in the basement is not advisable. Instead of visits spent laughing and cheering together in person, you find that your visitors now stare at you through the rectangular windows on the wall. Just checking in to mark your progress, only to walk away after a few minutes.
Talk of the present will also turn into talk of the future. In an instant, the outsiders who were singing your praises a few months ago, are now burying you under a laundry list of your deficiencies. What better time to shake through this laundry list, than when you're in the basement?
There are two things to do while stuck in that basement. The first of which is admit that you are there, and that changes are needed. The longer you resist the fact that you're in the basement, the larger chance you run of losing a valuable asset in exchange for nothing. Choosing to go that route, rebuilding yourself, can sometimes prove to be a lengthy process. You'll need to accept that your chance to get out of that basement will be pushed to the following year. People will forget about you, but they'll most assuredly be there when you come back up.
Or the second option, the more risky option, is that you sit and wait. Hope a cat, or a King and Queen come wandering to close to that basement door. Hope that you have the strength and parts to grab hold, and toss them down the stairs in your place. But where to go from there?
This is the position of our Cleveland Indians.

In honor of our first "Blog Comment" I thought I would take a minute to thank Scott for taking the time to post a comment, Thanks Scott, and maybe crack back just a little bit. Not too much cracking back though, fortunately Scott has taught me my first lesson in blogging. Read the articles you link too. I sure hope he has more for me.

In response to my post on 17Jun titled "There's always next season (ugh, the season hasn't even started yet)" my boy Scott had this to say:

Scott said...
"This is why blogs have a bad rep. You haven't read an article you linked to? Also, why are you assuming UofM goes 6-6? Because Herbstreit predicted it I guess. He's never been wrong has he."

I am going to address this in the two parts you have it broken into. The article and the record. By the way, love the Herbie reference.

You are absolutely correct and I will now eat my words. Apparently the Women's Football Academy is a fundraiser for the Lloyd Carr Cancer Fund. Aren't I the A-hole. It's a good a cause and I applaud Uncle Rico for being a part of it. The truth of the matter is, I thought it was a funny headline and decided to roll with it. Lesson learned. Let's move on.

Despite my hatred of all things Buckeye, there two Ohio State football alumnus's I admire, Robert Smith and Kirk Herbstreit. Even Herbie will tell you he's been wrong. We all know he has. He made the initial report about Les Miles coming to UM. It's a part of being a professional, sometimes you get one wrong. Having said that, I take umbrage with the fact that you would think I am just recycling Herbie's thoughts. If I was quoting him, I would have made note of it. You apparently took the time to read the post, and I hope you read some of the others. My counterpart has put some really good stuff up considering we are just getting going. My point is, if you read more than one post you should have picked up on the fact that there is no shortage of opinions here. I said that Michigan would go 6-6 because I think they will go 6-6. Here's my game by game prediction.

8/30 Utah (Win)
9/06 Miami (OH) (Win)
9/13 @ Notre Dame (Loss) - Though I struggle with this one. If Clausen is the same QB he was last year, Michigan might be able to steal this one.
9/27 Wisconsin (Loss)
10/04 Illinois (Loss)
10/11 Toledo (Win)
10/18 @ Penn State (Loss)
10/25 Michigan State (Loss) – I like Dantonio better.
11/01 @ Purdue (Win)
11/08 @ Minnesota (Loss) – The Badgers always give Michigan Fits.
11/15 Northwestern (Win)
11/22 @ Ohio State (Win) – For two reasons. 1. First year coaches have a crazy way of winning big rivalry games. I think Uncle Rico finds a way to get it done despite inferior talent. 2. Even if deep down I thought the Buckeye's were going to win, I wouldn't dare say it out loud.

Man that was exhausting. I hope this kind of response to our reader comments doesn't dissuade our readers from posting comments in the future. If anything, I hope it encourages it. I also hope Scott makes his way back to the March and continues to let us know exactly how he feels. That's why The Mummer and I got this going. We love witty sports banter and encourage all three of our readers to contribute to our bad habit.

Below is a list of athletes or sports figures that deserve an old school ass whoopin' and the reason why.

Tiger Woods
Not because I dislike him. Because what he did at Torrey Pines is absolutely disgusting.

Adam Jones
Not for all the reasons that you're thinking. Check out this quote in response to comments that Don Imus made in reference to Jones. I tell you what, let's roll Mr. Imus first. "What people should be outraged about is that they arrest blacks for no reason," Imus said Tuesday. "I mean, there's no reason to arrest this kid six times. Maybe he did something once, but everyone does something once." Personally I have no issue with that statement. Maybe it's because I don't what it's like to grow up in black America. Or maybe it's because he is right. Nonetheless, Jones was quick to offer his spiritual assistance. "I'm truly upset about the comments," Jones said. "Obviously Mr. Imus has problems with African-Americans. I'm upset, and I hope the station he works for handles it accordingly. I will pray for him." I wish Adam would pray for me.

Shaquille O'Neal
Shaq had yet another opportunity to have the last laugh. We all know he hates Kobe and doesn't want him anywhere near a ring. He doesn't need to rap about it.

Cedric Benson
After telling everyone he was wrongly arrested for DUI while on his boat, he goes and gets arrested again for DUI. Don't worry Ced, I am sure Adam will pray for you as well. If that fails, and it will, perhaps you could enlist Joe Cullen.

Brittney Griner
I don't know or care who she is either. It just pisses me off that horse racing women's basketball made the front page of ESPN.com (see below).
"Brittney Griner wants to change women's basketball. She's 6-8. She dunks. She fights. And she's still learning."
For the love of god! Would someone please put the WNBA out of it's Eight Belles like misery?!?

Javon Walker
Ooops!

Bill Simmons (The Sports Guy)
The way I figure it, that's the only way the March is going to make its way to Page 2.

Moon Man
Tiger Woods had surgery today but fear not, I just saw his newest Gatorade commercial, and it looks like he will now be playing on the moon.

Not So Jolly Fat Man
Rick Dutrow, owner of Big Brown, received a 15-day ban for steroid use. I had no idea steroids could make you so fat and sweaty.I Love Pancakes
Major League Baseball is expected to rule this week on whether or not it should ban the use of the maple model bats. Not to go all "Mad Money" on you, but I expect this ban to do big things for "Mrs. Butterworth's" stock.

Support the Arts
In closing, please go pick up a copy of the new football movie, "Meet the Browns - A Tyler Perry Joint". I hear it's really good.

Ask Kobe How His A** Tastes
Shaquille O'Neal was caught this week rapping about Kobe Bryant. Take a look...


Lebron Highlight Reel
I stumbled across this pretty good video of Lebron. Fairly long but well done.


Van Damme He's Talented
Don't watch this for too long...

Last night was the season 7 finale of The Ultimate Fighter on Spike, and we were treated to a few decent fights. But before we get to that, let's talk about C.C. Sabathia. In yesterday's game against the Dodgers, Sabathia worked 7.0 innings and struck out 10. Oh, and he blasted a shot over the right field wall for his first homer of the year as he provided the Indians only run until they erupted for 6 in the 11th. I know the chances of the Indians keeping him around are getting slimmer with each loss, but how much fun is he to watch?
As for the fights, we were treated to some decent match-ups, one of which was Diego Sanchez dropping Luigi Fiorivanti with a solid kick to the chops, followed up by a devastating knee that ultimately ended the fight for Fiorivanti. The other decent fight of the night was Amir Sadollah battling C.B. Dollaway for the title of The Ultimate Fighter. I was expecting a knock down drag out fight but instead we saw Sadollah once again finish Dollaway with an armbar. This one took significantly less time, and was disputed by Dollaway. He maintains he didn't tap, but after seeing the replays, he definitely patted Sadollah's leg.
The main event for the evening saw Kendall Grove beat up on a bearded Evan Tanner. Tanner has been known to sport some funky hair styles but this dejected Ron Burgundy look was definitely the oddest of all. The beard, paired with his inability to accurately connect with a punch spelled disaster for him.

This is something that we should have done a while back, and I apologize to our reader (my mom…she’s so proud!) that we did not clarify exactly what we are about here. It pretty much all breaks down to this, I’m 100% pro-Buckeyes and love women, whereas the Little Mime of Hate is pro-Michigan and loves men. Ok, maybe that last part wasn’t true.
Anyways, here is a break down of where our allegiances lie.

NFL
Mummer: Browns
LMoH: Browns

MLB
Mummer: Indians
LMoH: Indians

NBA
Mummer: Cavaliers
LMoH: Cavaliers

NCAA Football
Mummer: Ohio State w/ a fondness for the Irish
LMoH: Michigan

NCAA Basketball
Mummer: North Carolina
LMoH: Duke

As you can see, there is much to hate LMoH for, but we are both fairly objective in our points and don’t try to cram them down your throat. I feel the need to point this out so that if you are a Buckeye fan and stumble across our blog and see LMoH spewing Michigan Blue everywhere, you will know that I'm going to throw out a rebuttal, and vice versa.
So enjoy, we'll try to be funny and innovative and hopefully you'll share your opinion.

While everyone is talking about the magnificent game 6 by the Celtics, and their championship run, I figured we would start the talk about how Kobe has destroyed basketball in the city of Los Angeles, for as long as he plays there. But first, let’s listen in on a conversation had between Mitch Kupchak and Kobe Bryant this morning.

Mamba: I mean, you need to get me some help out there. Someone that will put fear into the hearts of opponents. I need an enforcer down in the paint. Boston has an enforcer, and look what they just won. Get me an enforcer!
Kupchak: I see where you’re going here. You’re talking about a giant of a man with a bunch of tattoos. All he does is dunk, rebound, and push people out of his way. Maybe he calls himself “Diesel” or something to that effect.
Mamba: That’s what I’m talking about. You know someone in the NBA like that?
Kupchak: Yea, you ran him out of town four years ago. You ruined this franchise and your career. Have a nice day.

Well, maybe that conversation didn’t happen. But you know what, it’s probably not that far off. Kobe said he could do it on his own, that he didn’t need a big man, and that he could run the show. Now here we are, a few years later and Kobe’s back in the Finals. But don’t kid yourself, he did this with a big man. Pau Gasol is listed at 7 feet tall, just an inch shorter than Shaq. Don’t get me wrong, I am in no way comparing Pau-derpuff Gasol to the Diesel. But in the end, Kobe needed that big man, but he wanted a big man on his terms. One that he could intimidate. No way Shaq is letting Kobe get away with those looks he gave Gasol. Kobe would have been swinging from the backboard by his underwear in atomic wedgie fashion.
So, where does Kobe go from here? Going into the playoffs, he was said to have the most complete team. But over the course of these playoffs, you saw him abandon the team aspect, and more importantly the triangle offense. And for the Phil Jackson coached Lakers, that means certain failure. If you’re Mitch Kupchak, you woke up today with a sinking feeling that back in 2004, maybe the wrong decision was made.

As I read the College Football headlines two things jump out at me. One, there are a lot of criminals playing football. Seriously, what the hell is going on? But that’s a column for a different day. The second thing that jumps out at me is my beloved Wolverines. Michigan has been in the press this off-season almost as often as the Ocho. Michigan football doesn’t get press in the off-season unless they just inked another big-time recruit (which apparently won’t be happening for a while). Cue the almighty Rich Rodriguez. Is it just me or should Rico be nominated and run unopposed for president of the American D-bag Association? Need proof? Check out one of the two following articles:

Michigan football coach Rich Rodriguez helped lead the 10th-annual Women's Football Academy on Saturday.

Lineman who left Michigan to play for Ohio State in 2009

Where do we begin? I guess we’ll go in order. Now I didn’t read the women’s football article, but what the hell is going on in Ann Arbor? This Rico’s first season at UM, perhaps she be teaching his new playbook. I guess what really chaps my ass is the fact the we are going to see that headline 6 more times this season. After weeks 3,4,5,7,8 and either 10 or 11. You’ll notice I didn’t include the finale. It’s going to be an abysmal year for the school up north. They may not even make a bowl game. Though I think they get to 6-6 and let their name carry them to the poinsettia bowl.

What kind of first class a-hole do you to be to drive a highly rated O lineman to your rival. And it’s not like he left Akron to go to Kent. This is THE rivalry. I am not sure which idiot I hate more, Boren or Rico.

I hope everyone that reads this understands how difficult it is to write this without swearing.

If you were watching last nights game against the Tigers you may have noticed something about Dontrelle Willis. Not the fact that he looked and pitched like he was having a seizure on the mound. No, what you noticed was that he is a dead ringer for Omar Little from the “The Wire”.



An inside source reports that shortly after being pulled from the game, Jim Leyland sent Willis out to the local Korean convenience store to pick him up a pack of smokes. I don’t think we’ll be seeing him for a while.
Willis struggled with his command through two innings and the Indians made him pay with homers by Ryan Garko and Kelly Shoppach. It was nice to see the Indians jump out to such a commanding lead in the early going with a national audience watching at home. This is the team we thought we had going into the season and it was refreshing to finally see it come out. Cliff Lee was in command from the beginning and had he not gone into lets-speed-this-game-up-so-our-eight-runs-aren’t-wasted mode, he may have thrown a shut out.
With that win, the Indians are now 8.5 games back of the Chicago White Sox, and head home to do battle against the struggling Minnesota Twins. A sweep of this up-coming series would give the Indians sole possession of second place in the AL Central.

The Indians have sent the struggling Asdrubal Cabrera down to Buffalo and Josh Barfield has been called up to replace him. Cabrera has not performed as well as we all had hoped and has been struggling through the season offensively. On the defensive side he’s been solid, turning an unassisted triple play and submitting highlight reel plays on a consistent basis. Unfortunately for Cabrera, the Tribe needs some help on offense and in the bullpen. Hopefully this will be a step in the right direction, and not a repeat of Barfield’s struggles last year.
Barfield will be in the lineup tonight when the Tribe takes on the Tigers in Detroit. Cliff Lee will be going up against Dontrelle Willis who is 0-0 with a 4.50 ERA. The Indians really need to get a strong outing from Lee who has struggled of late. They can ill afford to drop any further under .500 as we near the half way point for the season. The White Sox are surging and putting a lot of distance between themselves and the rest of the AL Central. If the Indians can string together some wins they may be able to overtake a slumping Minnesota team and then work on chipping away at Chicago's lead.

Kneel Before Me!
Youngstown native Kelly Pavlic retains his Middleweight championship by knocking out Gary Lockett in the third round, while Lockett secured a spot in next Easter's "Stations of the Cross" re-enactment.

Big Brown Stinker
Big Brown left a big brown one on the track in his bid to become the first Triple Crown winner in 30 years. Instead, it was Da' Tara, a 38-1 long shot who surged ahead early and won by running faster than all the other horses with munchkins strapped to their backs.

Playoffs?
The Cleveland Gladiators pushed their record to 8-6 and improved their chances of making the playoffs. I'll start caring about the Gladiators when Bernie suits up and starts throwing side-arm bombs to Webster Slaughter. And don't even start to say that they are too old. If Vinny Testaverde can suit up and still throw more interceptions than touchdowns on a consistent basis, than old Bernie can lay off the sauce and throw on some pads.

Fingers Crossed
Terry Cousin is now a member of the Cleveland Browns after signing a two-year deal this past week. The signing was prompted after Daven Holly was injured in his first practice after signing a one-year deal with the team. Cousin is expected to start practicing immediately on a bed of pillows while wrapped in foam.

The Perfect Storm

Pacman Jones was granted reinstatement into the NFL last week and has already become friends with Deion Sanders, Michael Irvin, and Tank Johnson. Wow, nothing say's I've put all the strip-clubs, womanizing, and gun play behind me like hanging out with a bunch of womanizing, strip-club hopping, gun loving group of guys. This should end well.

Oh That's Nasty

Kimbo Slice defeated James Thompson last week by popping a massive zit on the side of Thompson's ear.

Seriously, how do you not get that thing drained before a fight? And if you're Kimbo, how do you not aim for that right away. He should have popped that thing with his first punch.

I’m not quite sure what to say about this slump that the Indians are in. I was hoping by this point all their struggles would be behind them and they would be challenging for the best record in baseball. At times they’ve looked as if they are turning the corner, but then they just smash their collective faces on the lamp post just around it.
The players all appear to be waiting for something big to happen. Some moment that everyone will rally behind that will make them start hitting. But if Asdrubal’s unassisted triple play, or last week’s triple steal can’t do it, what will? I think the answer is simple; Wedge needs to re-grow his porn-stache. Sure it makes him look like a dumb-ass who may-or-may not drive around in a scary white van, with no windows and a big bag of candy on the front seat. But the last guy who had a moustache as manager of the Cleveland Indians took his team to the ALCS.