All I can say is, thank Christ Pitt didn't the National Championship.

Thanks to Deadspin for posting this video.

The NBA said yesterday that it will not fine the Blazers because Pres Larry Miller threatened to sue any team that signs Darius Miles. In a public statement the league said that having Miles contract count against their cap space is punishment enough. Any team that would willingly sign Miles to a $9 Million contract has punished themselves. Any league punishment would just be salt in the wound.

The D-League has granted some team a protest in their loss to some other team because one of the teams players was inadvertently fouled out. The coach from some team could be heard shouting “Do Over! Do Over!” as the game ended.

The Knicks Eddie Curry is being sued for what amounts to being a horrible human being. One of the complaints from the “victim” is that Curry ask him to do “"humiliating tasks outside the scope of his employment, such as cleaning up and removing dirty towels [into which Curry had ejaculated] so that his wife would not see them," the Manhattan federal court suit says” On a side note, it makes feel better about myself. I thought I was the only guy that j*zzed into towels.

This from ESPN.com
Irvin: Men in truck flashed gun, talked Cowboys from ESPN.com by ESPN.com news services
Hall of Fame receiver Michael Irvin says he calmly chatted with a gunman in another vehicle after the armed passenger turned out to be a Dallas Cowboys fan.

Michael, your verbiage is a little mixed up. The gunman was not a Cowboys fan. He was your accomplice.

Also from ESPN.com
Assistant coaches injured after four-floor fall.
Two assistant coaches apparently wrestling with each other fell through a hotel window Tuesday morning and fell four stories to a concrete sidewalk, leaving one in serious condition.

We are still waiting to find out if the two coaches were Mangini and Crenell.

I don't really have much to talk about to open this post. I just got finished watching the Cavs slap around the Celtics like a two dollar whore and can't get the thoughts of a championship out of my head. So let's get right to the picks.


Baltimore at Tennessee (BAL -1.5)
Mummer: Tennessee
How in the holy fuck is a JOE FLACCO led Ravens team favored on the road? He's a rookie, in the playoffs, on the road! The Ravens team is getting more love than a fifteen year old's tube sock, and it makes me sick.

LMoH: Ravens

I can't possibly follow your stunning analysis.

Arizona at Carolina (CAR -6)
Mummer: Arizona
This is a dumb pick. I'm completely sold on the Cardinals right now for absolutely no good reason.

LMoH: Panthers
Every other odds maker is giving the Cards 10. I don't like 10, but I'll take 6.

Philadelphia at New York Giants (NYG -2)
Mummer: New York Giants
I have zero interest in this game. I can't decide if Andy Reid is better at sucking the fun out of games or sucking the jelly out of donut.

LMoH: Giants
You are on fire today.

Three Words... Sports Illustrated Curse.

San Diego at Pittsburgh (PIT -3)
Mummer: San Diego
To think that the concussion received at the hands of Willie McGinest may play some factor in this game gives me a fat one.

LMoH: Steelers

I just can't pick against that Steelers "D". I hate everything about the fucking Steelers, starting with their drama queen QB. I just can't bring myself to pick against that "D".

Does the rest of the country know something we don't?

The LMoH and I have ended our prediction challenge for the season in a tie. To settle this we're gonna have a staring contest with Stuart Scott. The first one of us to vomit or bleed from their eyes loses. We just need Stu to answer our phone calls. So until that happens we're just gonna continue our picks through the playoffs.

Enjoy.


Atlanta at Arizona (Even)
Mummer: Arizona
A rookie QB on the road in the playoffs almost never wins. Well, except for the shithead that plays for Pittsburgh right now.

LMoH: Cardinals
I agree with The Mummer. Plus, I love the Cards at home.

Indianapolis at San Diego (IND -2 )
Mummer: Indianapolis
Indy finds a way to win, plain and simple. Also, watch out if that corpse wearing Harrison's jersey shows up to play, he could be the difference maker.

LMoH: Chargers
The Mummer has had to listen to me bitch about the fact that Rivers is the real MVP this season. I love the fact that the Chargers at home. Rivers goes off again and leads the Chargers to a second round exit.

Baltimore at Miami (BAL -3.5 )
Mummer: Miami
Again, rookie QB on the road.

LMoH: Dolphins
I really like the Ravens in this one. However, I really only like one road team to get a victory this weekend. That one road team is not the Ravens. I love Flacco. I love that defense. I just think Pennington is playing for more. I think he loves that he is in the playoffs and our favorite attention whore Brett "Bonds" Farve is back in Mississippi.

Philadelphia at Minnesota (PHL -3)
Mummer: Minnesota
Adrian Peterson is a difference maker. By that I mean, as soon as I traded him in my fantasy league, he was the difference between me making the playoffs and not. DON'T MAKE TRADES WHILE DRINKING.

LMoH: Eagles
Guess who he traded A.P. to...yes, I anally raped him while he was drinking. I went on to finish 11-2 and runner up in the playoffs. The Eagles are the one road team I like to win this weekend. It's not because I am drinking the kool aid. Tarvaris Jackson is not very good and apparently home field won't mean much since the puke's in Minnesota couldn't even sell out a playoff game. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. This where I roll up a newspaper and smack you on the nose.

It's about time we do a little more than just mention in passing that the Cavs are having a stellar season thus far. This kind of play warrants an entire post dedicated to them. As of tonight they have the third best record in the NBA bested only by the Celtics and Lakers who have the same number of losses, being five.

Steve Jones of NBCSports.com wrote a great article about the Cavaliers and their chances of winning a title this year. Definitely worth the read if not only for the fact that he mentions how playing with Kobe Bryant in Beijing was a positive experience for LeBron.

Also worth mentioning about the Cavs this season is their ridiculous home record of 16-0. To think that since the 2005-06 season they are 104-35 at home is unbelievable. That's a .748 winning percentage which virtually guarantees that if you attend home games in a sporadic fashion you're gonna see a Cavs victory. Not bad at all considering the Browns home winning percentage is a disgusting .438. Way to go Brownies!

Yes, we’re a little behind in addressing the recent layoffs for the Cleveland Browns. But in our defense, we’re both incredibly lazy and I’m almost 99% sure no one even reads this stuff. That being said, no one saw the Crennel and Savage firings as shocking news material. When you’re team doesn’t score an offensive touchdown the last six weeks of the season, it’s a pretty good bet that you’re shit is gonna be on the front lawn the day after the season ends.

So now the Browns are on the hunt for the next coach that will lead us to the promised land. Will it be Mangini? Maybe Cowher has a change of heart? How about landing the over hyped Shannahan? The latest reports say that it will be Mangini and Scott Pioli from the Patriots with Crennel being brought back as the Defensive Coordinator. Not a bad scenario.

What are your thoughts?

So Brady Quinn got punched in the eye. How random is that? The Browns QB’s aren’t even safe off the field. I for one can not wait until this season is over and done with. I’d really like to shift the focus of our blog from the Browns to the Cavs. The Cavs are good.

On to the picks.


Game of the Week
Miami at New York Jets (MIA -1)
Mummer: New York Jets
The Jets need to win this game. You can’t miss the playoffs by losing to a team that went 1-15 last year but is now 10-6 because your QB from a year ago is having his best year as a pro. I know the smart pick is the Dolphins because of the revenge factor and Brett Favre’s shoulder issues, but I just can’t pick against Favre somehow finding a way to win this one.

LMoH: Dolphins
Brett Farve is a dick. 

Irrelevant Game of the Week
Kansas City at Cincinnati (EVEN)
Mummer: Kansas City
If I asked you how many rushing yards Larry Johnson has, what would your answer be? 400? 500? How about 856? That’s right; he’s one big game away from being a 1,000 yard rusher. If this happens, can we all agree that 1,000 yards in a season is no longer the bench mark for a great running back?

LMoH: Chiefs

I agree. I think it is entirely overrated.  But that is only if Johnson reaches it this year.

Hometown Game of the Week
Cleveland at Pittsburgh (PIT -9.5)
Mummer: Pittsburgh
This game is gonna get fucking ugly, Fugly if you will. Do you know who Richard Bartel is? Do you know where Tarleton State is? If your answer put’s Richard Bartel as the heir to the “Bartles and Jaymes” fortune, and Tarleton Sate in the great state of Tarleton, you should be probably go play in traffic. Surprisingly, Richard Bartel is the Browns new second-string QB, and Tarleton State is in the great state of ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?! There weren’t any other QB’s available!?! How is Josh Cribbs not listed as QB1 and Gradkowski as QB2? Cribbs was more successful at the collegiate level than both of them combined. This is why Crennel needs to be fired.

LMoH: Steelers
What he said.

The Rest
St. Louis at Atlanta (ATL -10.5)
Mummer: St. Louis
LMoH: Rams

New England at Buffalo (NE -5.5)
Mummer: Buffalo
LMoH: Pats

Detroit at Green Bay (GNB -5.5)
Mummer: Green Bay
LMoH: Lions

Tennessee at Indianapolis (IND -1.5)
Mummer: Indianapolis
LMoH: Titans

New York Giants at Minnesota (NYG -1)
Mummer: Minnesota
LMoH: Giants

Carolina at New Orleans (CAR -1.5)
Mummer: Carolina
LMoH: Panthers

Oakland at Tampa Bay (TB -5)
Mummer: Tampa Bay
LMoH: Bucs

Chicago at Houston (CHI -4)
Mummer: Chicago
LMoH: Bears

Washington at San Francisco (EVEN)
Mummer: Washington
LMoH: Redskins

Jacksonville at Baltimore (BAL -6.5)
Mummer: Jacksonville
LMoH: Ravens

Dallas at Philadelphia (PHI -1.5)
Mummer: Dallas
LMoH: Cowboys

Seattle at Arizona (ARI -4.5)
Mummer: Arizona
LMoH: Seahwaks

Denver at San Diego (SD -7)
Mummer: San Diego
LMoH: Broncos

Hey! Check out what the Cavs think is gonna be a great idea!

“On Christmas Day's game with the Washington Wizards at The Q, Nike will debut a "chalk" version of James' signature shoe. It will feature a silhouette of his well-known ritual of tossing the chalk or rosin into the air before games on the tongue.

And the Cavs are getting the fans into the act as well, all fans will get a packet of chalk to throw in the air after pregame introductions along with James.”
Courtesy of The Plain Dealer

No way this ends well. Cleveland fans have never shown that they can handle anything with class, and I love it. See Exhibit A and Exhibit B, and after this chalk throwing game I introduce you to Exhibit C.

I’m going to break away from our normal sports theme to talk a little bit about some upcoming movies. To see the trailer, just click the title of each section. This should be fun for everyone.

Valkyrie
I was really excited about this movie, up until I saw the trailer and noticed Tom Cruise decided to give the middle finger to the German community and go with an American accent for his role. Understand he is playing a German officer by the name of Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg. That name reeks of sauerkraut and schnitzels yet Cruise decides he wants to be a douche and ruin a potentially great film.

7 Pounds
The trailer for this movie is about as vague as a Patriots injury report. What is the point of this fucking movie!?! Does he have the flu? The world’s biggest turd? Please tell me.

Yes Man
I’ve already mentioned in an earlier post that this is essentially “Liar, Liar 2”. Instead of not being able to tell a lie for a day, he has to say yes to everything for a year. Wow, genius.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Brad Pitt plays a character that is born as an elderly man and gets younger as time progresses. It’s adapted from the F. Scott Fitzgerald short story by the same name. Do yourself a favor and read the story. It’s fantastic and a quick read.

Batman 3
I’m calling it Batman 3 because the film has yet to be given a name. This has to be one of the most highly anticipated movies and it doesn’t even have a script yet. Rumors are flying as to who the next villain(s) will be, and who they will cast for the role(s). Two of the biggest rumors that need to be commented on are Eddie Murphy as the Riddler, and Shia LaBeouf as Robin. In no way shape or form can they let Eddie Murphy be the Riddler. Did you see Norbit? I’ve read obituaries that were funnier than that piece of shit. As far as Robin goes, Christian Bale has gone on record stating he will not show up for work if Robin is introduced into the film series. Not to mention, who would want to be in the unenviable position of following Chris O’Donnell as the boy wonder?

Well that’s all for now, if we get a positive response I’ll do another one. If we don’t, I won’t. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.