For the remainder of the season we’re going to abandon the way we’ve done picks thus far. Right now I’m three games behind the LMoH and the only way I can tie him is to pick the opposite of what he likes. That being said he likes the favorites in both games today.

Philadelphia at Arizona (PHI -1)
and
Baltimore at Pittsburgh (PIT -2)

Personally, I couldn’t be happier with these picks. I’m in love with Arizona right now, it just looks like they can do no wrong and I’ll take Kurt Warner over McNabb in a championship game any day of the week. As for Baltimore/Pittsburgh, I was on the fence about both so either team is fine by me. My perfect scenario for this game is both starting QB’s get injured early and Troy Smith comes to the rescue and posts the single greatest playoff performance ever. I truly believe he is better than Joe Flacco. Fingers crossed!

I don't really have much to talk about to open this post. I just got finished watching the Cavs slap around the Celtics like a two dollar whore and can't get the thoughts of a championship out of my head. So let's get right to the picks.


Baltimore at Tennessee (BAL -1.5)
Mummer: Tennessee
How in the holy fuck is a JOE FLACCO led Ravens team favored on the road? He's a rookie, in the playoffs, on the road! The Ravens team is getting more love than a fifteen year old's tube sock, and it makes me sick.

LMoH: Ravens

I can't possibly follow your stunning analysis.

Arizona at Carolina (CAR -6)
Mummer: Arizona
This is a dumb pick. I'm completely sold on the Cardinals right now for absolutely no good reason.

LMoH: Panthers
Every other odds maker is giving the Cards 10. I don't like 10, but I'll take 6.

Philadelphia at New York Giants (NYG -2)
Mummer: New York Giants
I have zero interest in this game. I can't decide if Andy Reid is better at sucking the fun out of games or sucking the jelly out of donut.

LMoH: Giants
You are on fire today.

Three Words... Sports Illustrated Curse.

San Diego at Pittsburgh (PIT -3)
Mummer: San Diego
To think that the concussion received at the hands of Willie McGinest may play some factor in this game gives me a fat one.

LMoH: Steelers

I just can't pick against that Steelers "D". I hate everything about the fucking Steelers, starting with their drama queen QB. I just can't bring myself to pick against that "D".

The LMoH and I have ended our prediction challenge for the season in a tie. To settle this we're gonna have a staring contest with Stuart Scott. The first one of us to vomit or bleed from their eyes loses. We just need Stu to answer our phone calls. So until that happens we're just gonna continue our picks through the playoffs.

Enjoy.


Atlanta at Arizona (Even)
Mummer: Arizona
A rookie QB on the road in the playoffs almost never wins. Well, except for the shithead that plays for Pittsburgh right now.

LMoH: Cardinals
I agree with The Mummer. Plus, I love the Cards at home.

Indianapolis at San Diego (IND -2 )
Mummer: Indianapolis
Indy finds a way to win, plain and simple. Also, watch out if that corpse wearing Harrison's jersey shows up to play, he could be the difference maker.

LMoH: Chargers
The Mummer has had to listen to me bitch about the fact that Rivers is the real MVP this season. I love the fact that the Chargers at home. Rivers goes off again and leads the Chargers to a second round exit.

Baltimore at Miami (BAL -3.5 )
Mummer: Miami
Again, rookie QB on the road.

LMoH: Dolphins
I really like the Ravens in this one. However, I really only like one road team to get a victory this weekend. That one road team is not the Ravens. I love Flacco. I love that defense. I just think Pennington is playing for more. I think he loves that he is in the playoffs and our favorite attention whore Brett "Bonds" Farve is back in Mississippi.

Philadelphia at Minnesota (PHL -3)
Mummer: Minnesota
Adrian Peterson is a difference maker. By that I mean, as soon as I traded him in my fantasy league, he was the difference between me making the playoffs and not. DON'T MAKE TRADES WHILE DRINKING.

LMoH: Eagles
Guess who he traded A.P. to...yes, I anally raped him while he was drinking. I went on to finish 11-2 and runner up in the playoffs. The Eagles are the one road team I like to win this weekend. It's not because I am drinking the kool aid. Tarvaris Jackson is not very good and apparently home field won't mean much since the puke's in Minnesota couldn't even sell out a playoff game. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. This where I roll up a newspaper and smack you on the nose.

So Brady Quinn got punched in the eye. How random is that? The Browns QB’s aren’t even safe off the field. I for one can not wait until this season is over and done with. I’d really like to shift the focus of our blog from the Browns to the Cavs. The Cavs are good.

On to the picks.


Game of the Week
Miami at New York Jets (MIA -1)
Mummer: New York Jets
The Jets need to win this game. You can’t miss the playoffs by losing to a team that went 1-15 last year but is now 10-6 because your QB from a year ago is having his best year as a pro. I know the smart pick is the Dolphins because of the revenge factor and Brett Favre’s shoulder issues, but I just can’t pick against Favre somehow finding a way to win this one.

LMoH: Dolphins
Brett Farve is a dick. 

Irrelevant Game of the Week
Kansas City at Cincinnati (EVEN)
Mummer: Kansas City
If I asked you how many rushing yards Larry Johnson has, what would your answer be? 400? 500? How about 856? That’s right; he’s one big game away from being a 1,000 yard rusher. If this happens, can we all agree that 1,000 yards in a season is no longer the bench mark for a great running back?

LMoH: Chiefs

I agree. I think it is entirely overrated.  But that is only if Johnson reaches it this year.

Hometown Game of the Week
Cleveland at Pittsburgh (PIT -9.5)
Mummer: Pittsburgh
This game is gonna get fucking ugly, Fugly if you will. Do you know who Richard Bartel is? Do you know where Tarleton State is? If your answer put’s Richard Bartel as the heir to the “Bartles and Jaymes” fortune, and Tarleton Sate in the great state of Tarleton, you should be probably go play in traffic. Surprisingly, Richard Bartel is the Browns new second-string QB, and Tarleton State is in the great state of ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?! There weren’t any other QB’s available!?! How is Josh Cribbs not listed as QB1 and Gradkowski as QB2? Cribbs was more successful at the collegiate level than both of them combined. This is why Crennel needs to be fired.

LMoH: Steelers
What he said.

The Rest
St. Louis at Atlanta (ATL -10.5)
Mummer: St. Louis
LMoH: Rams

New England at Buffalo (NE -5.5)
Mummer: Buffalo
LMoH: Pats

Detroit at Green Bay (GNB -5.5)
Mummer: Green Bay
LMoH: Lions

Tennessee at Indianapolis (IND -1.5)
Mummer: Indianapolis
LMoH: Titans

New York Giants at Minnesota (NYG -1)
Mummer: Minnesota
LMoH: Giants

Carolina at New Orleans (CAR -1.5)
Mummer: Carolina
LMoH: Panthers

Oakland at Tampa Bay (TB -5)
Mummer: Tampa Bay
LMoH: Bucs

Chicago at Houston (CHI -4)
Mummer: Chicago
LMoH: Bears

Washington at San Francisco (EVEN)
Mummer: Washington
LMoH: Redskins

Jacksonville at Baltimore (BAL -6.5)
Mummer: Jacksonville
LMoH: Ravens

Dallas at Philadelphia (PHI -1.5)
Mummer: Dallas
LMoH: Cowboys

Seattle at Arizona (ARI -4.5)
Mummer: Arizona
LMoH: Seahwaks

Denver at San Diego (SD -7)
Mummer: San Diego
LMoH: Broncos

Alright kiddies, you’re gonna get one monstrous version of our picks this week. Because the NFL is now playing games on Saturday, we figured it best to just put out one large post with all the picks.
Before we get to the picks though, did anyone see Stu Scott on Monday Night Football? He was holding a green and white golf umbrella down on the sidelines during the game. As soon as I saw that I immediately thought “Scary Poppins”. That eye isn’t doing anyone any favors. If someone has a picture of this, please send it to me.

On to the picks.


Thursday Night Dickhead Game of the Week
Sponsored by Stewart Scott’s Creepy Ass Eyeball
Indianapolis at Jacksonville (IND -8.5)
Mummer: Jacksonville
Unless the Colts jump into a time machine, I don’t see them beating anyone by 9.

LMoH: Colts
I do like the Colts. With or without Joseph Addai. I think they are poised to make a big run here at the end of the season.

Game of the Week
Carolina at New York Giants (CAR -4.5)
Mummer: New York Giants
There are easily three great match-ups for this week. Ultimately, this one should provide the most action. I’m completely sold on DeAngelo Williams, he’s a freak.

LMoH: Giants
I think it comes down to Brandon Jacobs. The Giants go as he goes.

Irrelevant Game of the Week
Houston at Oakland (HOU -4)
Mummer: Houston
I gave serious consideration to combining the “Irrelevant” game and the “Hometown” game to create the “Shittiest Hometown Game of the Century”. Lucky for the Browns, it would have fucked with the format we’ve been going with for the past few weeks.

LMoH: Texans
Really? -4? Really?

Hometown Game of the Week
Cincinnati at Cleveland (EVEN)
Mummer: Cleveland
I’ve been sitting here for 15 minutes trying to think of something to say about this game. I’ve got nothing.

LMoH: Bengals
See post titled "I have a question".

The Rest
Baltimore at Dallas (DAL -1)
Mummer: Baltimore
LMoH: Cowboys

New Orleans at Detroit (NO -5.5)
Mummer: New Orleans
LMoH: Lions
Editor's note: I will be picking the Lion's this week and next. They are going to win a game and I am going to take credit for picking it.

Pittsburgh at Tennessee (PIT -5)
Mummer: Pittsburgh
LMoH: Steelers

Miami at Kansas City (MIA -6)
Mummer: Miami
LMoH: Dolphins

San Francisco at St. Louis (SF -4)
Mummer: St. Louis
LMoH: Niners

Arizona at New England (NE -3)
Mummer: New England
LMoH: Patriots

San Diego at Tampa Bay (TB -3)
Mummer: Tampa Bay
LMoH: Bucs

New York Jets at Seattle (NYJ -3.5)
Mummer: New York Jets
LMoH: Seahawks
Editor's note: Make sure you take part in Brett Farve's 4th farewell tour.

Buffalo at Denver (DEN -2.5)
Mummer: Buffalo
LMoH: Bronco's

Philadelphia at Washington (PHI -5.5)
Mummer: Philadelphia
LMoH: Redskins

Atlanta at Minnesota (MIN -2)
Mummer: Minnesota
LMoH: Falcons

Green Bay at Chicago (CHI -7)
Mummer: Chicago
LMoH: Packers

We're both off to a good start this week. I'm not feeling particularly entertaining tonight, so let's get right to it.


Game of the Week
Pittsburgh at Baltimore (BAL -1.5)
Mummer: Pittsburgh
Baltimore has been able to put up the points this year, but Pittsburgh is rolling right now. I'm gonna ride it out.

LMoH: Ravens
I don't know why. I just have a feeling. Usually that means I am wrong.

Irrelevant Game of the Week
Seattle at St. Louis (EVEN)
Mummer: Seattle
Ummm...so how bout them Indians.

LMoH: Seahawks
Did they sign Kerry Wood? What a waste.

Hometown Game of the Week
Cleveland at Philadelphia (PHI -9.5)
Mummer: Philadelphia
This will be the first time I have picked against the Browns all year. Dorsey is miserable and it's apparent the team has quit on Crennel. But hey, at least Kellen wants to be a Brown next year.

LMoH: Eagles
They're (the Browns) Shitty!

The Rest
Tampa Bay at Atlanta (ATL -2)
Mummer: Tampa Bay
LMoH: Falcons

Washington at Cincinnati (WAS -9.5)
Mummer: Washington
LMoH: Redskins

San Francisco at Miami (MIA -2)
Mummer: San Francisco
This is actually a very interesting contest. San Fran has been playing inspired football and may catch Miami by surprise much the same way Miami caught teams by surprise early in the season. I was very close to making this the game of the week.

LMoH: Niners
I agree. I do believe the Dolphins are over achieving.

Buffalo at New York Jets (NYJ -5.5)
Mummer: New York Jets
LMoH: Jets

Detroit at Indianapolis (IND -11.5)
Mummer: Indianapolis
LMoH: Colts

San Diego at Kansas City (SD -3)
Mummer: San Diego
LMoH: Chargers

Green Bay at Jacksonville (GNB -1.5)
Mummer: Jacksonville
LMoH: Packers

Tennessee at Houston (TEN -2.5)
Mummer: Tennessee
LMoH: Texans

Minnesota at Arizona (ARI -1.5)
Mummer: Arizona
LMoH: Cardinals

Denver at Carolina (CAR -5.5)
Mummer: Denver
LMoH: Panthers

New England at Oakland (NE -4)
Mummer: New England
LMoH: Patriots

New York Giants at Dallas (NYG -2)
Mummer: New York Giants
LMoH: Cowboys

The Thursday night pick is back after a week off due to inebriation. Surprisingly, tonight’s game looks to be a pretty good match-up. But let’s put that discussion on hold for a second, we need to talk about this first.


Steve Young takes a cup to the face and doesn’t miss a beat! But it begs a few questions like, what if that cup had hit Stu Scott? Would he have had a Vietnam type flashback to the Juggs machine? Would the cup have corrected his fucked up eye? Why are Stu Scott and Emmit Smith dressed like they are going to the Arctic Circle? They are broadcasting from CHARLOTTE FUCKING NORTH CAROLINA! Oh and Steve, maybe you could teach that bob-and-weave move to Stu Scott. It might end up saving his other eye some day.

On to the game!

Juggs Machine Game of the Week
Sponsored by Stu Scott's Creepy Ass Eyeball
New Orleans at Chicago (CHI -1)
Mummer: Chicago
Remember the last time Reggie Bush was at Soldier Field? When he pointed at Urlacher and then did a flip into the endzone? Yeah, I think Brian still remembers that.

LMoH: Bears
I always have a hard time picking against Brees and that offense. They are averaging like 130 points a game. That's impressive. However, I like the Bears defense and Matt Forte to do some damage tonight.

My apologies to the millions of readers who were disappointed to see we did not make our picks for the Thursday night game between San Diego and Oakland. The truth is I've been huffing crazy amounts of Elmer's glue and I thought it was Wednesday when in fact it was Thursday. Again, my apologies.


Game of the Week
Dallas at Pittsburgh (PIT -2)
Mummer: Pittsburgh
Pittsburgh's field is a mess and Marion Barber would have had a big day for Dallas. His loss is too much to overcome.

LMoH: Steelers
With or without Barber, the Steelers win this by a touchdown. 

Irrelevant Game of the Week
Miami at Buffalo (MIA -1.5)
Mummer: Miami
So, the Cavaliers are playing insane basketball right now. I'm not sure if it's the addition of Mo Williams or the fact that the rest of the team is having career years, but it's fantastic. Next to the Lakers, the Cavs may have the best bench in the NBA. They look like a team on a mission. And yes, I'm refusing to comment on this Miami "at" Buffalo atrocity that will be played Sunday.

LMoH: Bills
Kobe Bryant is an asshole.

Hometown Game of the Week
Cleveland at Tennessee (TEN -10.5)
Mummer: Cleveland
Is it crazy of me to think that Cleveland can keep it close, and possibly win, if Cribbs see's significant time behind center? I know he is a few years removed from being an every day QB but let's not forget, he wasn't terrible at Kent. Take a look at this story.

LMoH: Titans
By the way, BoDog has this at 14 and I still like the Titans. If the Lions and Browns were to play today, I would like the Lions by 2 TD's. 

The Rest
Jacksonville at Chicago (CHI -6.5)
Mummer: Chicago
LMoH: Bears

Minnesota at Detroit (MIN -8)
Mummer: Minnesota
LMoH:Vikings

Houston at Green Bay (GNB -7.5)
Mummer: Green Bay
LMoH: Texans

Cincinnati at Indianapolis (IND -11.5)
Mummer: Cincinnati
LMoH: Colts

Atlanta at New Orleans (NO -1.5)
Mummer: Atlanta
LMoH: Falcons

Philadelphia at New York Giants (NYG -8.5)
Mummer: Philadelphia
LMoH: Giants

Kansas City at Denver (DEN -8)
Mummer: Kansas City
LMoH: Broncos

New York Jets at San Francisco (NYJ -7.5)
Mummer: New York Jets
LMoH: Jets

New England at Seattle (NE -6.5)
Mummer: Seattle
LMoH: Patriots

St. Louis at Arizona (ARI -14)
Mummer: St. Louis
LMoH: Cardinals

Washington at Baltimore (BAL -7)
Mummer: Washington
LMoH: Ravens

Tampa Bay at Carolina (CAR -1)
Mummer: Tampa Bay
LMoH: Panthers

We couldn't have been given a worse slate of games for what was produced on Thursday. In fact they weren't games, they were slaughters. The closest game was Seattle/Dallas and that game was over after the first quarter. Fortunately, looking at this weekend we should see some closer games.


Game of the Week
Pittsburgh at New England (NE -1)
Mummer: New England
The Hoodie has Cassel thinking he's the best QB in the league, and he's playing like it. Open your minds and let me drop this little nugget on you...Tom Brady has thrown for 400+ yds once in his career. Cassel has done it twice...in a row...in one season. Not saying this means he's a better QB than Brady, just saying that he's playing at a very high level right now.

LMoH: Steelers
I get it. Cassel is starting to look like a legit QB. The Mummer knows I am a staunch "Hoodie" supporter. However, that Steelers defense is wicked good, to put it in terms the Mummer can understand.

Irrelevant Game of the Week
Kansas City at Oakland (OAK -6)
Mummer: Kansas City
I can't figure either of these teams out. I'm not gonna be surprised by anything that happens in this game.

LMoH: Chiefs
Jesus. It gets harder and harder to do a write-up for this game. I think Bobby Thigpen is finally starting to get into a groove and Jamarcus Russell is a piece of crap. I take the chiefs by default.

Hometown Game of the Week
Indianapolis at Cleveland (IND -8.5)
Mummer: Cleveland
DA is gonna tear shit up this week. That's our luck. He's gonna finish the season strong and Cleveland will head into the off season with another choice to make at QB.

LMoH: Colts
There is no choice to make at QB. Unless of course DA goes back-up punter on Brady and stabs him in the hand. In the meantime, the Browns continue to look like Jamarcus Russell and lose this one handily.

The Rest
San Francisco at Buffalo (BUF -5.5)
Mummer: Buffalo
LMoH: Bills

Baltimore at Cincinnati (BAL -5.5)
Mummer: Baltimore
LMoH: Ravens

Carolina at Green Bay (EVEN)
Mummer: Green Bay
LMoH: Panthers

Miami at St. Louis (MIA -10)
Mummer: St. Louis
LMoH: Dolphins

New Orleans at Tampa Bay (EVEN)
Mummer: New Orleans
LMoH: Saints

New York Giants at Washington (NYG -4)
Mummer: New York
LMoH: Giants

Atlanta at San Diego (ATL -1)
Mummer: San Diego
LMoH: Falcons

Denver at New York Jets (NYJ -8.5)
Mummer: New York Jets
LMoH: Jets

Chicago at Minnesota (MIN -1.5)
Mummer: Chicago
LMoH: Bears

Jacksonville at Houston (HOU -2)
Mummer: Jacksonville
LMoH: Jaguars

It's Thanksgiving. Enjoy the holiday, enjoy the games.

Best Thursday Game
Arizona at Philadelphia (ARI -2.5)
Mummer: Arizona
I'm not sure why people are surprised that the Eagles are playing terrible football right now. They've been terrible all year. Their five wins are against the Rams, Steelers, 49ers, Falcons and Seahawks. Not to mention they TIED the CINCINNATI BENGALS! Even the Browns were able to manage a win against Cincinnati. Kurt Warner and the three-monster that is the Cardinals receivers are going to tear Philly up.

LMoH: Cardinals
As much as I like the Cards in this one, Philly scares me. Sooner or later they are going to get their shit together. In the meantime, here's an Arizona team that is out to prove they hang with NFC East. Even if it is the NFC East subdivision.

Worst Thursday Game
Seattle at Dallas (DAL -11)
Mummer: Seattle
I know Seattle has two wins on the season but they can definitely win this game. Hasselbeck has kept his team in the last two games (but also gave them away) so I see a win here.

LMoH: Seahawks
Very mixed on this one. I agree with the Mummer, but that Seahawks defense should be ashamed of themselves. I mean really, Holmgren should walk up to them with a rolled up newspaper, smack them on the nose and say "Bad!"

Mildly Interesting Thursday Game
Tennessee at Detroit (TEN -11.5)
Mummer: Tennessee
I'm gonna regret this pick on Friday.

LMoH: Titans
Why?

I couldn't have been more wrong about Cincinnati this week. In my defense though, I made that pick before Chad Ocho Cinco was made inactive. Still, he wouldn't have made enough of a difference to help Cincinnati keep that game closer.


Game of the Week
New York Jets at Tennessee (TEN -2)
Mummer: Tennessee
The Jets have a fantastic chance of winning this game. I just have a hard time picking against a 10-0 team.

LMoH: Titans
Mostly because I hate Farve. With his style, and filthy Titans defense, I am betting on a 3int performance from our favorite attention whore.

Irrelevant Game of the Week
Buffalo at Kansas City (BUF -4)
Mummer: Buffalo
This is gonna be a miserable game.

LMoH: Chiefs
I like the Chiefs to get a win here against a Bills team that looks like Frodo in the 3rd installment of the rings trilogy.

Hometown Game of the Week
Houston at Cleveland (CLE -2.5)
Mummer: Cleveland
If the LMoH picks against Cleveland I have just one thing to say to him "Go root for Houston - Fuck you."

LMoH: Browns
Here's the thing, the Browns have won in the weeks i picked against them. We'll if the trend continues. Look for Steve Slaton to post about 42 fantasy points this week.

The Rest
San Francisco at Dallas (DAL -6.5)
Mummer: San Francisco
LMoH: Dallas

Tampa Bay at Detroit (TB -7.5)
Mummer: Tampa Bay
LMoH: Bucs

Chicago at St. Louis (CHI -7)
Mummer: St. Louis
LMoH: Bears

New England at Miami (MIA -1)
Mummer: New England
LMoH: Patriots

Minnesota at Jacksonville (MIN -2)
Mummer: Jacksonville
LMoH: Jags

Philadelphia at Baltimore (BAL -1.5)
Mummer: Philadelphia
LMoH:Ravens

Oakland at Denver (DEN -9.5)
Mummer: Denver
LMoH: Broncos

Carolina at Atlanta (EVEN)
Mummer: Atlanta
LMoH: Panthers

New York Giants at Arizona (NYG -4.5)
Mummer: Arizona
LMoH: Giants

Washington at Seattle (WAS -5.5)
Mummer: Seattle
LMoH: Redskins

Indianapolis at San Diego (IND -4)
Mummer: Indianapolis
LMoH: Colts

Green Bay at New Orleans (EVEN)
Mummer: Green Bay
LMoH: Packers

Holy shit, I am WORKING the Little Mime of Hate to this point! But, while I should be riding high because of this, I'm actually a little down in the dumps. We've recently received a cease and decist letter from Mr. Goodell. Apparently he didn't take kindly to us referring to the Thursday night game as the "Dickhead Game of the Week, Sponsored by Roger Goodell". So, we started looking for new sponsors and boy have we hit the jackpot. Brace yourselves everyone, the Thursday night game will now be referred to as the "Juggs Machine Game of the Week, Sponsored by Stuart Scott's Creepy Ass Eyeball". If you don't get the reference, follow this link. You're welcome.

Oh, and before you get all bent out of shape about this, please know I mean no disrespect. That dead eye is as cool as the other side of the pillow. Boo-yah!


Juggs Machine Game of the Week
Sponsored by Stuart Scott's Creepy Ass Eyeball
Cincinnati at Pittsburgh (PIT -8.5)
Mummer: Cincinnati
Hines Ward broke Keith Rivers' jaw in the last matchup. The Bengals are out for blood in this one. No way Pittsburgh wins by 8.5.

LMoH: Steelers

I disagree. I like the Steelers here. That defense is just filthy. I expect them to lay the wood too a Bengals offense that will now be missing Chad Johnson. Hoosh might get in the endzone, but it will end there. 

The LMoH and I are both 0-0-1 after the Thursday night thriller. If you would have told me Thursday morning that Matt Cassel would have thrown for 400 yds and 3 TDs, I would have said "Who is Matt Cassel?".
Thank you, thank you, now on to the picks.


Game of the Week
Dallas at Washington (EVEN)
Mummer: Dallas
The return of Tony Romo. How will he perform? How does his hand feel? I don't know, but I'm sure Madden will tell us at least 50 times.

Little Mime of Hate: Redskins
I think the skins pull this off even without Portis. Expect a big game out of Tight End Chris Cooley. 

Irrelevant Game of the Week
St. Louis at San Francisco (SF -4)
Mummer: San Francisco
I'm moving my J.O. session* with Katie Morgan up if this is the only 4:00pm game being televised.

LMoH: Niners
What's the over under on spiking the ball references. It seems that will be the only point of interest in this game. 

Hometown Game of the Week
Cleveland at Buffalo (BUF -2.5)
Mummer: Cleveland
After starting the year 4-0, the Bills have lost four of their last five games. The Browns will have had 10 days to prepare. Anything less than a win should result in Romeo's pink slip.

LMoH: Bills
I am done picking the Browns for a while. They disgust me. Even a win should mean a pink slip. I don't recall ever watching such a poorly managed team. 

The Rest
Denver at Atlanta (ATL -2.5)
Mummer: Atlanta
LMoH: Falcons

Philadelphia at Cincinnati (PHI -7.5)
Mummer: Philadelphia
LMoH: Eagles

Chicago at Green Bay (EVEN)
Mummer: Green Bay
LMoH: Bears

Houston at Indianapolis (IND -9.5)
Mummer: Houston
LMoH: Texans

New Orleans at Kansas City (NO -5.5)
Mummer: New Orleans
LMoH: Chiefs

Oakland at Miami (MIA -8)
Mummer: Miami
LMoH: Dolphins

Baltimore at New York Giants (NYG -5.5)
Mummer:New York Giants
LMoH: Ravens

Minnesota at Tampa Bay (TB -1.5)
Mummer: Tampa Bay
LMoH:Bucs

Detroit at Carolina (CAR -12)
Mummer: Detroit
LMoH: Lions

Arizona at Seattle (ARI -5.5)
Mummer: Arizona
LMoH: Cardinals

Tennessee at Jacksonville (TEN -7)
Mummer: Jacksonville
LMoH: Titans

San Diego at Pittsburgh (PIT -4)
Mummer: San Diego
LMoH: Steelers

*J.O. aka Jerk Off

Last week I introduced you to the "Thursday Night Dickhead Game of the Week". It was well received. By that I mean, we don't have any readers therefore I didn't receive any negative feedback. Because of that, I'm gonna keep going with it.

Thursday Night Dickhead Game of the Week
Sponsered by Roger Goodell
New York Jets at New England (NE -3)
Mummer: New York Jets
I don't have much to say about this game. I feel the Jets win by at least two touchdowns. The Patriots aren't good enough to beat the Jets twice this year, and Favre is capable of dropping 5 TD's on you at any moment.
What I do want to talk about is this.



I felt you needed to know this.

Little Mime of Hate: Patriots
Despite Thomas being the 53rd member of the patriots 53 man roster to go on the I.R., I like the Pats in this. We all know Bill hates to lose to the guy he mentored and we may actually see him go Tanya Harding on Brett Farve, which I am ok with. The only thing that would bother me about this is that the game is on the NFL network, and I won't get to see Farve rolling around the field screaming, "Why Me?!? Why Me?!?" On another note, I reserve the right to change my pick if Jim Tressel's greatest recruit ever, Shawn Crable, starts tonight.

Well, the Little Mine of Hate and myself are already in the hole 0-1 after the Browns defense decided to take a nice big shit mid-field at the Browns Stadium. Thanks guys.


Game of the Week
New York Giants at Philadelphia (NYG -1.5)
Mummer: Philadelphia
I have no defense for picking Philly. I think the NYG defense is filthy, and Brandon Jacobs punishes the opposing team. I just feel like Philly is gonna show up for this one.

LMoH: Giants
I too think the Eagles arrive. However, I just can't pick against the Giants. They have proven me wrong too many times.

Irrelevant Game of the Week
Kansas City at San Diego (SD -4.5)
Mummer: San Diego
Not one must watch player between these two teams. Don't even think about saying LT.

LMoH: Chargers
I would say Phillip Rivers. The guy is having a great season considering he is getting no help from anyone.


New Orleans at Atlanta (ATL -2)
Mummer: Atlanta
LMoH: Falcons

Tennessee at Chicago (TEN -2)
Mummer: Tennessee
LMoH: Titans
Side note: I loved the Bears in this one until Orton went down.

Jacksonville at Detroit (JAC -3.5)
Mummer: Jacksonville
LMoH: Jaguars

Seattle at Miami (MIA -7)
Mummer: Miami
LMoH: Seahawks

Green Bay at Minnesota (MIN -1)
Mummer: Green Bay
LMoH: Packers

Buffalo at New England (NE -1.5)
Mummer: Buffalo
LMoH: Patriots

St. Louis at New York Jets (NYJ -7.5)
Mummer: New York Jets
LMoH: Rams

Baltimore at Houston (BAL -1)
Mummer: Houston
LMoH: Ravens

Carolina at Oakland (CAR -9.5)
Mummer: Carolina
LMoH: Panthers

Indianapolis at Pittsburgh (PIT -6.5)
Mummer: Indianapolis
LMoH: Steelers

San Francisco at Arizona (ARI -8.5)
Mummer: Arizona
LMoH: Cardinals

I really hate Thursday night NFL games, it throws my whole week out of whack. Setting my fantasy football lineup on a Wednesday is only something I should have to do if I'm going out of town. Not to mention, now we have to make our NFL picks two days sooner than normal. All because Roger Goodell is a dick.

Because of this we've decided that all Thursday night games will be referred to as "Thursday Night Dickhead Game of the Week" sponsored by Roger Goodell. Plus as an added bonus this week, because the Browns are playing, it's also the "Hometown Game of the Week", thus giving us the "Thursday Night Hometown Dickhead Game of the Week" sponsored by Roger Goodell. Now, on to the pick.


Thursday Night Hometown Dickhead Game of the Week
Sponsored by Roger Goodell

Denver at Cleveland (CLE -1)
Mummer: Cleveland
Brady Quinn gets the start. Finally! The only problem is that he gets one day of practice with the first team to get ready. Normally this would worry me, but HE'S BRADY FREAKIN QUINN! I'm more worried about Derek Anderson being able to adjust to the pine pony. Luckily he spent some time their before last year, so he knows what to expect.
Also, I really want to draw some attention to how fortunate we are to have Josh Cribbs on this team. We all know his ability to take one the distance at any moment. But what often goes unnoticed is his ability to make tackles on the coverage team. He's unbelievable. He gets to balls quicker than Tom Brady's mouth, and that's saying something. Do yoursef a favor tomorrow and checkout his coverage skills. Really a thing of beauty.

LMoH: Browns
I am only picking the Browns because it is the "Thursday Night Hometown Dickhead Game of the Week", otherwise I would take the Broncos. The real reason I like the Browns in this game is because Brady Quinn is starting. I believe Quinn is going to have a pretty rough night, 100-125 yards, 2-3 picks and maybe a touchdown. What makes the game appealing to me is Jamal Lewis. I think we are going to see a healthy dose of Lewis tonight, both rushing and receiving. This how the Browns get the win tonight. On a side note, would the Browns please wise up and move Winslow to the slot and start Heiden at TE. Please?!? For the love of God, please!?!

We're trying out a new format for the picks this week. Instead of just doing picks we're going to submit our choices for Game of the Week, Irrelevant Game of the Week, and the Browns matchup. Doing a capsule for every game proved tedious and extremely boring. Hopefully this will be a welcome change.
As always, feel free to play along.


Game of the Week
Green Bay at Tennessee (TEN -2.5)
Mummer: Tennessee
I know they have to lose at some point, but I don't think it will be against a high profile team. See week 14.

LMoH: Titans
I really like Tennessee rightnow. Who doesn't? I was able to watch them for the first time last week/ Guess what? They are fun to watch. What bothers me is, how does a 7-0 have a starting QB that is not claimed in the majority of Fantasy Football Leagues. I like them again this week, however, I think the Bears have a great shot taking them down next week.

Irrelevant Game of the Week
Atlanta at Oakland (ATL -4.5)
Mummer: Atlanta
Jamarcus Russel has a full season on Matt Ryan, yet Ryan continues to perform at a higher level. It's nice to see that passing on Adrian Peterson is working out so well for them.

LMoH: Falcons
Come on now Mummer, that's a cheap shot. Passing on Peterson was absolutely the right thing to do. You don't draft a guy with that many injury problems number one overall. Hindsight always 20/20.

Hometown Game of the Week
Baltimore at Cleveland (EVEN)
Mummer: Cleveland
If you've been waiting for the perfect game to bet on this season, then Merry Christmas. Flacco threw two INT's against Cleveland earlier this year at Baltimore. With the weather in Cleveland forecast to be cold, and Cleveland's run defense stepping up, Baltimore will be looking to throw more. Bad news for a rookie QB. Bet the farm on Cleveland.

LMoH: Browns
I don't about betting the farm. The Ravens are a scrappy team. Having said that, if Sean Rogers can continue his tear, the Browns win easy.



New York Jets at Buffalo (BUF -3)
Mummer: New York Jets
LMoH: Bills

Detroit at Chicago (CHI -8.5)
Mummer: Detroit
LMoH: Bears

Jacksonville at Cincinnati (JAC -4.5)
Mummer: Jacksonville
LMoH: Jags

Tampa Bay at Kansas City (TB -6.5)
Mummer: Tampa Bay
LMoH: Bucs

Arizona at St. Louis (ARI -4)
Mummer: Arizona
LMoH: Cardinals

Houston at Minnesota (HOU -1)
Mummer: Minnesota
LMoH: Titans

Miami at Denver (DEN -1)
Mummer: Denver
LMoH: Miami

Dallas at New York Giants (NYG -8.5)
Mummer: Dallas
LMoH: Giants

Philadelphia at Seatle (PHI -5.5)
Mummer: Philadelphia
LMoH: Eagles

New England at Indianapolis (EVEN)
Mummer: Indianapolis
LMoH: Patriots

Pittsburgh at Washington (EVEN)
Mummer: Washington
LMoH: Redskins

The epic battle between myself and the Little Mime of Hate is dead even. Unfortunately in the grand scheme of things we both suck. Let's get to the picks.

Tampa Bay at Dallas (TB -1.5)
Mummer: Dallas
Little Mime of Hate: Tampa Bay

Washington at Detroit (WAS -8)
Mummer: Washington
LMoH: Washington

Buffalo at Miami (BUF -3.5)
Mummer: Buffalo
LMoH: Buffalo

St. Louis at New England (NE -4)
Mummer: New England
LMoH: New England

San Diego at New Orleans (SD -2)
Mummer: San Diego
LMoH: San Diego

Kansas City at New York Jets (NYJ -8.5)
Mummer: New York Jets
LMoH: Kansas City

Atlanta at Philadelphia (PHI -5)
Mummer: Philadelphia
LMoH: Philadelphia

Arizona at Carolina (CAR -2)
Mummer: Arizona
LMoH: Arizona

Oakland at Baltimore (BAL -6)
Mummer: Oakland
LMoH: Oakland

Cincinnati at Houston (HOU -5.5)
Mummer: Houston
LMoH: Cincinnati

Cleveland at Jacksonville (JAC -2)
Mummer: Cleveland
LMoH: Cleveland

New York Giants at Pittsburgh (PIT -1.5)
Mummer: New York Giants
LMoH: New York Giants

Seattle at San Francisco (SF -6.5)
Mummer: San Francisco
LMoH: Seattle

Indianapolis at Tennessee (TEN -4.5)
Mummer: Indianapolis
LMoH: Tennessee

The Little Mime of Hate is back this week (Read about his travels in the previous post) and we're ready to make you some money. Unfortunately, we aren't giving a commentary for our picks. No real reason except to say I'm extremely lazy.

San Diego at Buffalo (EVEN)
Mummer: San Diego
Little Mime of Hate: Bills

Minnesota at Chicago (CHI -1)
Mummer: Chicago
LMoH: Bears

Pittsburgh at Cincinnati (PIT -8)
Mummer: Pittsburgh
LMoH: Bengals

Tennessee at Kansas City (TEN -8)
Mummer: Tennessee
LMoH: Titans

Dallas at St. Louis (DAL -6.5)
Mummer: Dallas
LMoH: Cowboys

Baltimore at Miami (MIA -3)
Mummer: Miami
LMoH: Ravens

San Francisco at New York Giants (NYG -6)
Mummer: New York Giants
LMoH: Giants

New Orleans at Carolina (EVEN)
Mummer: Carolina
LMoH: Saints

Detroit at Houston (HOU -5.5)
Mummer: Detroit
LMoH: Texans

New York Jets at Oakland (NYJ -4.5)
Mummer: New York
LMoH: Jets

Indianapolis at Green Bay (IND -1.5)
Mummer: Indianapolis
LMoH: Packers

Cleveland at Washington (WAS -2.5)
Mummer: Cleveland
LMoH: Browns
They finally got their big win. I can now start picking them again.

Seattle at Tampa Bay (TB -8.5)
Mummer: Tampa Bay
LMoH: Bucs

Denver at New England (DEN -3)
Mummer: Denver
LMoH: Patriots

The Little Mime of Hate is on vacation this week, so he's made his picks but will not be providing any commentary. Also, we won't be putting a up a prize for beating one or both of us this week. The reason is that I'm not sure what we would do if two people had the same win-loss total and beat both of us. We're not made of money here. Once we think of something though, the prize will be back on.
Either way, feel free to try your hand.


Baltimore at Indianapolis (IND -1)
Mummer: Indianapolis
Troy Smith and Anthony Gonzalez back on the same field! Er...in the same stadium.

Little Mime of Hate: Ravens


Detroit at Minnesota (MIN -11)
Mummer: Detroit
I feel I need to defend this Detroit pick. At some point, Detroit is gonna get theirs, and Minnesota has not played all four quarters in any game this year. I think Minny wins, but not by 11.

Little Mime of Hate: Lions


Oakland at New Orleans (NO -7)
Mummer: New Orleans
Reggie Bush was a man possessed last weekend. If he performs half as well against Oakland, he'll have a huge day.

Little Mime of Hate: Saints


Cincinnati at New York Jets (NYJ -6.5)
Mummer: New York Jets
In 2005 Carson Palmer signed a deal keeping him in Cincinnati until 2014. Hey Carson, what's your biggest regret in life?

Little Mime of Hate: Cincinnati


Chicago at Atlanta (CHI -4)
Mummer: Chicago
Michael Turner's game stats:

Week 1: 220 Yds - 2TD
Week 2: 42 Yds - 0TD
Week 3: 104 Yds - 3TD
Week 4: 56 Yds - 0TD
Week 5: 121 Yds - 1 TD

Hmmm...what does this mean for week 6?

Little Mime of Hate: Bears


Carolina at Tampa Bay (CAR -3.5)
Mummer: Carolina
"Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose" Let's go Panthers!

Little Mime of Hate: Bucs


St. Louis at Washington (WAS -13.5)
Mummer: St. Louis
If they win by 2 TD's, everyone better watch out.

Little Mime of Hate: Redskins


Miami at Houston (MIA -2)
Mummer: Miami
Miami is playing with the house's money right now.

Little Mime of Hate: Texans


Jacksonville at Denver (DEN -3.5)
Mummer: Jacksonville
Please let Mojo Drew have a big week, please!

Little Mime of Hate: Jaguars


Philadelphia at San Francisco (PHI -3.5)
Mummer: Philadelphia
There's always one game every week that is hard to find something to write about.

Little Mime of Hate: Eagles


Green Bay at Seattle (GNB -4)
Mummer: Green Bay
I take that back. This week, we have two.

Little Mime of Hate: Packers


Dallas at Arizona (DAL -4.5)
Mummer: Dallas
We're fixin to have a good ole fashion shoot out in the desert! Yee-haw!! Bang! Bang!

Little Mime of Hate: Cardinals


New England at San Diego (SD -2)
Mummer: San Diego
Because I hate Boston.

Little Mime of Hate: Patriots


New York Giants at Cleveland (NYG -7)
Mummer: Cleveland
Derek Anderson's QB Rating is 31st in the NFL. For those of you who don't understand what this means, let me put it this way. He's one spot ahead of Tyler Thigpen.

Little Mime of Hate: Giants