You know who's ecstatic about this A-Rod story?
THIS GUY!

This mother fucker is accused of snorting coke off a toilet seat! In a public bathroom no less! If you were to give me $100 bucks to bend over and sniff a public toilet seat I'd tell you to go fuck your mother. I'd rather have a dead clown fall out of my pee hole than do that shit. But this guy not only gets that close but goes even further by putting his nose to the seat to get the coke! Unbelievable story and it's been buried because A-Rod tested positive for being a douche bag. Can we please get a photo of this bathroom stall? I really hope it looks something like this.

Does the rest of the country know something we don't?

This morning I was scouring ESPN for any sort of positive press about the Cleveland Browns season. Unfortunately, I came up empty. That is unless you count the article that talks about how Quinn's shot at the starting job may come this week. What I did find interesting though was an ESPN Page 2 Poll Question that asked which team had the best shot of going 0-16.

Notice the teams to the left and the varied colors across the board. While I wasn't shocked that Ohio voted for the "Some Ohio Team" option, I was shocked to see that Maine was colored yellow. But take a closer look at Maine's vote total.

Well, I for one would like to say just one thing. Fuck you Guy from Maine!