This is the 2nd best week of the year. My apologies, but the 1st week of the NCAA tourney is still number one. In the span of 8 days College Football and the NFL will kick-off their regular seasons. I love it. There is nothing better in life than being a fan. I would even argue it’s better than sex. Hear me out on this one. Unless you are suffering from some sort of E.D., sex is never disappointing. We always achieve our goal. Your lady however, might feel differently. Anyway, as we all know, being a fan is much different. Look at the different paths Ohio State and Michigan travelled last year. For Michigan it was a championship or bust season. And they busted. In week one. To a high school team. Then again in week 2. Let’s be fair, to a very good football team. Ohio State on the other hand, backed their way into the National Championship. Let’s all be reasonable, last year’s team was not a championship caliber team. It was a good team, not a great team. To illustrate my point look at THE GAME. If Tressell doesn’t take the ball out of the hands of his 35 year old quarterback, Boeckman might very well have cost the Buckeye’s that game. Here’s where the Buckeye fans say “Michigan fans always have an excuse”. To that I say, kiss my grits. It’s not an excuse. Tressell, once again, out coached Carr. That was the difference in that game. Not Beanie Wells or any of the other skill position athletes. I might hear the argument that Vernon Gholstein was a difference maker. My point being, Michigan and Ohio State had the same expectations and disappointment last season, but at very different times. It’s what brings us back, even more excited for this season. Could Michigan one of the 4 Michigan quarterbacks and Head Coach Uncle Rico do just enough to sneak Michigan into the National Championship game like Tressell and Krenzel did in ’02? Probably not. But we’re fans. So of course it can happen. Not only can it happen, but until the Wolverines are mathematically out of the championship game, it WILL happen. Because we’re fans. Our expectations are ridiculous and our hearts will most definitely be split in two. Because we’re fans. A season without heart-ache, is a season you didn’t put enough in to.

Just when you thought Chad Johnson couldn't do anything more shocking, he goes and does this. Reports are coming out of Cincinnati that Chad Johnson has legally changed his name. My guess is he's decided to go with this nickname instead of his given name to screw with the NFL. I just can't help but feel Chad will end up on the losing end with "SHITHEAD" printed across the back of his jersey.

Chad changing his name to Chad Ocho Cinco might be the greatest thing I've heard in a while. It's like if Michael Vick embraced the herpes and changed his name to Ron Mexico. This whole thing got me to thinking, what if other NFL players were to follow suit.

How about Adam "Pacman" Jones hereby known as Adam "Rain Man" Jones. It works on two levels because he loves to make it rain in the clubs, and because he's a retard. How about the very obvious Kellen "IMA SOLDIA" Winslow II. Or in an attempt to keep his nickname in line with his level of play Carnell "Cadillac" Williams makes the adjustment to Carnell "76 Gremlin" Williams. It might not even stay contained to the young guys, Brett "401K" Favre. Okay I admit, that wasn't very good.

But Chad may be onto something. I see great things coming from this. Let's be honest, who are we to tell the guy he can or can't change his name? We changed our name.

OCHO CINCO DOWN THE SIDELINE AND TO THE HOUSE!

Picking the AFC North standings put me in the mood to make some other bold predictions. You can take these to the bank.

• Ted Ginn will have over 800 yards receiving to go along with his 8 receiving touchdowns.


• Troy Smith will start and end the season as Baltimore's starting QB.


• Skip Bayless will hate on Ohio State.


• Ricky Williams will finish in the top 5 for fantasy running backs.


• The New England Patriots will struggle to get to 10 wins.


• Beanie Wells will win the Heisman with 2,000+ rushing yards.


• Batman will make over $150 million in its first weekend.


• Brett Favre will lead the Jets into the playoffs while Green Bay sits at home.


• Steven Jackson will be tackled by his hair for a loss.


• Sean Salisbury will snap John Clayton in two.


• Adrian Peterson will miss 5+ games for some leg related injury.


• THE Ohio State will beat Florida for the National Championship.


• Chad Johnson will challenge a horse to a swimming contest and blame his poor breast stroke on his separated shoulder.

Before you head to the bank, let me clarify that myself nor my colleague can guarantee these claims. I'll be honest, I'm a little nervous about some of these predictions. There's no way Batman will make that much right?

I don’t want to talk about it directly or look at it too long for fear of jinxing it, but there’s something interesting going on with that baseball team in Cleveland. They’ve won 10 straight, and in doing so have swept the Royals, Rangers and Tigers. Sizemore has joined the 30-30 club, and Jhonny Peralta is doing his best Jim Thome impersonation in the 4 hole. With all the talk of football taking up the airwaves and print, it's easy to forget that we still have a full month of baseball left.

Every Indians fan was hoping to see something out of this team before the end of the year to give them hope for the next, and they are delivering. Cliff Lee isn't showing any signs of slowing down, Garko is hitting again, Peralta is on fire, Sizemore is out of his mind, and Andy Marte is picking splinters out of his ass. The team is gaining confidence from top to bottom with the way they've been playing lately. The veterans are proving to themselves that last year wasn't a fluke, and the "rookies" are finding out that they can contribute to this team. The only negative here, is that LaPorta isn't up here finding that out as well. Instead, to steal a line from my colleague, "he's still bleeding from his head at home plate in Beijing".

In spite of that, it's a great end to an abismal season. While we may be playing spoiler when we thought we'd be contending for the AL Central crown, and we lost a great pitcher in CC Sabathia. We have next year to look forward to, and get to possibly ruin a couple teams seasons in the process.

I'm tired of the blanket statement that the SEC has better athletes than any other conference in college football. Did I miss the scientific study that NASA conducted where they proved this theory? I must have, because every sports analyst is throwing it around like as if its fact.

To get to the bottom of this, I've decided to conduct a little experiment of my own. We'll look at the past 5 drafts, excluding the most recent, to see which players from which conference's have had the better NFL career. If the SEC truly has better athlete's, then they should be thriving in the NFL.
Note: To make this blog as fair as possible, I'll be writing it as I look up the drafts. I have a strong feeling that my point will be made so that I don't look like an idiot.

Before we start, we'll judge this based on whether the average sports fan would know who the player is and take into account whether or not the player has lived up to the hype surrounding him. I'll note those players in italics and give the grade below.


2003 NFL Draft
Big Ten
Charles Rogers (Michigan State) - He's not even in the NFL anymore!
Jimmy Kennedy (Penn State)
Michael Haynes (Penn State)
Bryant Johnson (Penn State)
Dallas Clark (Iowa) - Stick with Manning and you'll have a nice career
Larry Johnson (Penn State) - Broke the Penn State RB curse

SEC
Dewayne Robertson (Kentucky)
Johnathan Sullivan (Georgia)
George Foster (Georgia)
Rex Grossman (Florida) - I sometimes feel bad for him

Not a strong year for either conference. Larry Johnson beats Rex Grossman based on his body of work, and Dallas Clark is the topper. I know Grossman is a Superbowl QB, but he wasn't the reason they were in it.
Big Ten 1 - SEC 0


2004 NFL Draft
Big Ten
Robert Gallery (Iowa) - Solid lineman for an abismal team
Lee Evans (Wisconsin) - Showed what he is capable of in 2006
Will Smith (THE Ohio State) - Named to Pro-Bowl in 2006
Chris Perry (Michigan) - May get show what he can do this year
Chris Gamble (THE Ohio State) - Solid career; has failed to duplicate the success he had at OSU
Michael Jenkins (THE Ohio State) - Vick didn't help him out in the stats category...yikes

SEC
Eli Manning (Ole Miss) - Just won himself a Super Bowl
Dunta Robinson (South Carolina)
Michael Clayton (LSU)
Benjamin Watson (Georgia)

Oh boy. If you're only talent is Eli Manning, you've got some problems. While the Big Ten didn't produce a ton of stars and household names, they didn't produce a single disappointment.
Big Ten 2 - SEC 0


2005 NFL Draft
Big Ten
Braylon Edwards (Michigan) - Top 5 wide receiver
Erasmus James (Wisconsin)
Luis Castillo (Northwestern)
Marlin Jackson (Michigan)

SEC
Ronnie Brown (Auburn) - Bust. Injury Prone.
Cadillac Williams (Auburn) - Bust. Injury Prone.
Troy Williamson (South Carolina)
Carlos Rogers (Auburn)
Thomas Davis (Georgia)
David Pollack (Georgia)
Marcus Spears (LSU) - 4.5 sacks for his career
Matt Jones (Arkansas) - Can a coacaine arrest ruin your NFL career?
Jason Campbell (Auburn) - Up until last year, he wasn't anything to write home about
Chris Spencer (Ole Miss)

Only one Pro-Bowler in this group. Braylon's going to win this one for the Big Ten. The only guy out of the SEC that has put together any sort of career is Jason Campbell, and he hasn't proved to be an elite player in NFL.
Big Ten 3 - SEC 0


2006 NFL Draft
Big Ten
A.J. Hawk (THE Ohio State) - Just as good in the NFL as he was in Columbus.
Donte Whitner (THE Ohio State)
Chad Greeway (Iowa)
Bobby Carpenter (THE Ohio State)
Tamba Hali (Penn State)
Laurence Maroney (Minnesota) - Ask any Patriots fan if he's a stud
Santonio Holmes (THE Ohio State) - Slowly becoming a premier wide receiver
Nick Mangold (THE Ohio State) - Will get more recognition now that he snapping the ball to a legend

SEC
Jay Cutler (Vanderbilt) - Great season last year, but he's kind of the anti-SEC quarterback
Jason Allen (Tennessee)
Johnathan Joseph (South Carolina)
Joseph Addai (LSU) - Might be my first pick in fantasy football this year

Joseph Addai is probably the most skilled player in the two groups, but the amount of talent that came out of the Big Ten will win it for them.
Big Ten 4 - SEC 0


NFL Draft 2007
Big Ten
Joe Thomas (Wisconsin) - Has become the cornerstone for the Browns OL in one season
Levi Brown (Penn State)
Ted Ginn Jr. (THE Ohio State) - His blazing speed makes him the anti-Big Ten WR
Leon Hall (Michigan)
Anthony Spencer (Purdue)
Anthony Gonzalez (THE Ohio State) - Colts were a great fit for him and he showed why

SEC
JaMarcus Russell (LSU) - Held out of training camp due to contract dispute
LaRon Landry (LSU)
Jamaal Anderson (Arkansas)
Patrick Willis (Ole Miss) - Fantastic upside. Made the pro-bowl as a rookie linebacker.
Justin Harrell (Tennessee)
Jarvis Moss (Florida)
Reggie Nelson (Florida)
Dwayne Bowe (LSU) - Solid rookie year
Robert Meachem (Tennessee)
Ben Grubbs (Auburn)
Craig Davis (LSU)

Thomas and Willis cancel each other out. Bowe and Gonzalez cancel each other out. Leaving Jamarcus Russell and Teddy Ginn who because of lack of playing time, cancel each other out. I'm going to call this one a tie. Not enough is known about the other guys, but I'm pretty sure in time, we'll see that the Big Ten players end up with the better careers. Points awarded to both sides.
Big Ten 5 - SEC 1


This blog was a lot of work. I don't even remember or care why I started writing it. I'm pretty sure it was to prove that the Big Ten was the more dominant conference, but I think we all knew that before reading this. Be sure to stay tuned for more well written coherent articles that actually have a point, written by me.

We have never done a picture of the day here, nor do we plan on doing it again any time soon. I just couldn't help but share this picture. This incident occured after a Taekwondo match in which Angel Valodia Matos of Cuba (Left) disagreed with the referee for the match (Right).

Cliff "Cy" Lee

Cliff Lee is out of his mind right now. The guy just notched his 18th win of the season last night, which means he has accounted for just over 30% of the Tribe victories. To put that into perspective, CC Sabathia accounted for just under 20% of the Tribe's 96 victories last year. I'm not sure what all this means though. It was just something that came to me when I was making my SpaghettiOs.

Academy Award Shoo-In

While I was enjoying the aforementioned SpaghettiOs I happened to catch a commercial for the new movie "The Longshots". It stars Ice Cube as the coach of a Pop Warner football team who employs the help of a girl to win games. People tell me that it's based on a true story which I found to be shocking. I had no idea "Little Giants" was a true story.

Side note: The movie is directed by Fred Durst. Yes, that Fred Durst.

Derek Anderson has a Weak Brain

I've watched that play a few times now, and I'm fully convinced that if Osi Umenyiora tried to tackle Brady Quinn like that, Osi would have exploded on impact. Again, I'm not sure what that means, it just came to me when I was washing my SpaghettiOs bowl.

Bolt of Juice

When this thought popped into my head I was not doing any SpaghettiO related activities. I just want to know why no one is pointing out the possibilty that Usain Bolt is juicing. What he is doing to these track records is incredible. In fact, incredible doesn't even begin to describe it. He broke the world record in the 100M in spite of the fact that he began celebrating before he even crossed the finish line. Then, as an encore he breaks the 200M record set by Michael Johnson in 1996. Yes, I know records are meant to be broken, but that 200M record was one that no one ever thought would fall. To again put something in perspective, let's say the fastest football player who can run a 40 in 4.3 could sustain his 40 time for the length of a 200M dash. That football player would have lost the race by a full 4 seconds. In track it's widely accepted that .2 seconds could represent a full body length. Again, I'll say it's incredible.

To be clear, I'm not saying he is juicing, I just want to know why no one is mentioning the possibilty.

The Cavs made huge deal this week bringing in Mo Williams from the Bucks. What I was impressed with in this trade was what the Cavs gave up to get him. Nothing. While I was more than happy with the role that Joe Smith played in the few months he was with the team, he is aging and expendable. The Cavs will also lose a streaky a streaky shooter in Damon Jones. I prefer not to think of it as losing a streaky shooter but gaining a NBA level talent. Let’s face it, Jones is D-league at best. You have all seen the stats, 17.2 and 6.3 a game. Even more importantly his assist to turnover ratio is roughly 3 to 1, an area that Delonte West struggled with. Speaking of West, that’s what I love about this trade. I am a Delonte West and believe he was a great addition to the team. However, with the addition of Williams, the Cavs now a have a quality two guard rotation. Not too mention, if West should decide to chase the money and head over seas, the Cavs have protected themselves.

I was all set to sit and watch the first Brown’s game of the ’08 campaign, but instead I spent the evening in a Nyquil induced coma. With the Mummer at work for the evening, we were not able to cover much of the game. I did get to listen to the first series of both the Browns and Jets on my ride home from work. So here are some quick hits.

Derek Anderson appears to have improved in his decision making abilities. At one point he tucked the ball and ran for 9 yards instead forcing a pass into coverage. That same play last season would have resulted in an interception.
“3-yards and a cloud of dust.” Jamal Lewis and O-Line are ready to play some Big Ten football. Both seemed impressive in their one and only drive.
Defensively, as we all saw in the highlights, the second string secondary got torched. However, the first string seemed to get the job done in the first quarter with a pair of impressive stop on third and fourth down stops.

Here are some random thoughts about this years coaches preseason joke.

And a joke it is. How can it be taken seriously when the coaches have put West Virginia at number 8 and Michigan at number 24. Let’s go ahead and get this out in the open, THE BIG EAST IS A JOKE. It might as well be called the MAC East. Let’s all be real serious for a minute, if you put Wisconsin, Illinois, Penn State or Michigan in the MAC East, is there any reason to think that either of those teams doesn’t pick up the easiest BCS Bowl bid available. Maybe WVU is that good. My problem is, we’ll never know. Same scenario with South Florida. Both schools have one tough game per schedule. USF hosts Kansas and WVU hosts Auburn. Let’s talk again after those games.

What I truly love about the preseason poll is that despite the fact that I’ll have to listen to Buckeye’s apologists bitch about it all year, the Buckeye’s are not number one. I believe the coaches got this one right. Until the Buckeye’s can beat a quality non-conference team on the road, the coaches are correct. I already know what you are going to say, “ But we went on the road and beat Texas last year. Congrats. But as we would later see, Texas wasn’t Texas last year. Let’s face it, OSU has gotten on the shitty schedule band wagon. The reason the SEC can get away with it is because during conference play, they are playing quality teams. For example, the crappiest team in the SEC last year was Mississippi. I still think Ole Miss could beat Minnesota, Northwestern and Purdue. The Big Ten is down ladies and gentlemen. Which means the Big Ten has to schedule some better non-conference foes. I am well aware that the Buckeye’s are headed to the Rose Bowl this year to play USC. But they are also mixing in perennial powers Youngstown St., Ohio U. and Troy. Michigan has it’s normal bout with a struggling Notre Dame. They will also mix in Toledo, Miami (OH) and Utah (who some are expecting good things out of this year). Let’s face it, not exactly Big Ten caliber opponents. Penn States schedule might actually be worse than both of them. They don’t have a real game on their schedule this year. They will square off against Coastal Carolina, Oregon State, Syracuse and Temple. Jesus! My point being, the power in college football still lies in the south. Yes it pisses me off. Football is meant to be played the Big Ten way. But until the Big Ten steps up and does something about it, they will continue to get blasted in big BCS games.

So let’s talk Wolverines. Rounding out the top 25 was Michigan at 24 and Fresno St. at 25. This must be a really down year for college football if Michigan found a way in to the top 25. I still think Michigan goes at least 6-6. I still think they beat OSU to close out the season (I promise you the Mummer and myself will do a nice spread for that game). But let’s face it, with a little luck and some elbow grease, next season they might be a top 25 team.

Shocking news coming out of Reno, NV confirms that Michelle Wie will not make the cut in this weekends PGA event. In other news, scientists are giddy over the discovery that the sky is blue.