Photo Courtesy of NFLJuice.com

Take a look at that picture. It's Anquan Boldin before and after the hit by Eric Smith that collapsed his face. I know it doesn't look like much, but that was a vicious hit and Eric Smith isn't exactly known for stuff like that. My question to you is this...that face can't be completely healed, so if Ryan Clark were to hit him like he hit Wes Welker or Willis McGahee, would Boldin's stitches and bolts explode on the spot to make him look something more like this?

So, have you seen this commercial for Discovery Channel's new show "One Way Out"? It shows Jonathan Goodwin, the host and escapologist, getting out of sticky situations and ends with him putting a scorpion in his mouth than having it duct taped shut. Fucking brilliant! I love escape artists almost as much as I love snow and dog shit. However, this guy calling himself an escape artist is like me calling myself a Jedi Knight. His first show features a stunt where he locks himself in an office and needs to escape, but fails. Okay that's fine, they want to show he won't succeed every week, I get that. But shouldn't he succeed at something!?! Check out this clip.

(The good part comes at the 4:40 mark)

Here is one of the few non sports related posts I will share with you. I watched my father by a 37" Sharp Aquos at HHGregg last night. It made me insanely jealous. Jealous to the point that I  began to wonder if I might get in the event "something should happen to him." Just kidding Pops. Kind of. So I spent much of this morning cruising the net looking for the gem that would become my new television once I get my income tax refund. Liking the prices I saw at HHGregg last night, I decided to roll over to their website where I was greeted with this bullshit.

Note the price of said television. "See retail store for price". Aren't they completely missing the point of the Internet. What kind of horse shit is this? It's 10 degrees out and has been snowing non-stop for a week. See retail store for price? Fuck you! I'll go to bestbuy.com where i can make the purchase online and then pick it up at the store conveniently located at the end of my street. 

For the remainder of the season we’re going to abandon the way we’ve done picks thus far. Right now I’m three games behind the LMoH and the only way I can tie him is to pick the opposite of what he likes. That being said he likes the favorites in both games today.

Philadelphia at Arizona (PHI -1)
and
Baltimore at Pittsburgh (PIT -2)

Personally, I couldn’t be happier with these picks. I’m in love with Arizona right now, it just looks like they can do no wrong and I’ll take Kurt Warner over McNabb in a championship game any day of the week. As for Baltimore/Pittsburgh, I was on the fence about both so either team is fine by me. My perfect scenario for this game is both starting QB’s get injured early and Troy Smith comes to the rescue and posts the single greatest playoff performance ever. I truly believe he is better than Joe Flacco. Fingers crossed!

All I can say is, thank Christ Pitt didn't the National Championship.

Thanks to Deadspin for posting this video.

The NBA said yesterday that it will not fine the Blazers because Pres Larry Miller threatened to sue any team that signs Darius Miles. In a public statement the league said that having Miles contract count against their cap space is punishment enough. Any team that would willingly sign Miles to a $9 Million contract has punished themselves. Any league punishment would just be salt in the wound.

The D-League has granted some team a protest in their loss to some other team because one of the teams players was inadvertently fouled out. The coach from some team could be heard shouting “Do Over! Do Over!” as the game ended.

The Knicks Eddie Curry is being sued for what amounts to being a horrible human being. One of the complaints from the “victim” is that Curry ask him to do “"humiliating tasks outside the scope of his employment, such as cleaning up and removing dirty towels [into which Curry had ejaculated] so that his wife would not see them," the Manhattan federal court suit says” On a side note, it makes feel better about myself. I thought I was the only guy that j*zzed into towels.

This from ESPN.com
Irvin: Men in truck flashed gun, talked Cowboys from ESPN.com by ESPN.com news services
Hall of Fame receiver Michael Irvin says he calmly chatted with a gunman in another vehicle after the armed passenger turned out to be a Dallas Cowboys fan.

Michael, your verbiage is a little mixed up. The gunman was not a Cowboys fan. He was your accomplice.

Also from ESPN.com
Assistant coaches injured after four-floor fall.
Two assistant coaches apparently wrestling with each other fell through a hotel window Tuesday morning and fell four stories to a concrete sidewalk, leaving one in serious condition.

We are still waiting to find out if the two coaches were Mangini and Crenell.

I don't really have much to talk about to open this post. I just got finished watching the Cavs slap around the Celtics like a two dollar whore and can't get the thoughts of a championship out of my head. So let's get right to the picks.


Baltimore at Tennessee (BAL -1.5)
Mummer: Tennessee
How in the holy fuck is a JOE FLACCO led Ravens team favored on the road? He's a rookie, in the playoffs, on the road! The Ravens team is getting more love than a fifteen year old's tube sock, and it makes me sick.

LMoH: Ravens

I can't possibly follow your stunning analysis.

Arizona at Carolina (CAR -6)
Mummer: Arizona
This is a dumb pick. I'm completely sold on the Cardinals right now for absolutely no good reason.

LMoH: Panthers
Every other odds maker is giving the Cards 10. I don't like 10, but I'll take 6.

Philadelphia at New York Giants (NYG -2)
Mummer: New York Giants
I have zero interest in this game. I can't decide if Andy Reid is better at sucking the fun out of games or sucking the jelly out of donut.

LMoH: Giants
You are on fire today.

Three Words... Sports Illustrated Curse.

San Diego at Pittsburgh (PIT -3)
Mummer: San Diego
To think that the concussion received at the hands of Willie McGinest may play some factor in this game gives me a fat one.

LMoH: Steelers

I just can't pick against that Steelers "D". I hate everything about the fucking Steelers, starting with their drama queen QB. I just can't bring myself to pick against that "D".

Does the rest of the country know something we don't?

The LMoH and I have ended our prediction challenge for the season in a tie. To settle this we're gonna have a staring contest with Stuart Scott. The first one of us to vomit or bleed from their eyes loses. We just need Stu to answer our phone calls. So until that happens we're just gonna continue our picks through the playoffs.

Enjoy.


Atlanta at Arizona (Even)
Mummer: Arizona
A rookie QB on the road in the playoffs almost never wins. Well, except for the shithead that plays for Pittsburgh right now.

LMoH: Cardinals
I agree with The Mummer. Plus, I love the Cards at home.

Indianapolis at San Diego (IND -2 )
Mummer: Indianapolis
Indy finds a way to win, plain and simple. Also, watch out if that corpse wearing Harrison's jersey shows up to play, he could be the difference maker.

LMoH: Chargers
The Mummer has had to listen to me bitch about the fact that Rivers is the real MVP this season. I love the fact that the Chargers at home. Rivers goes off again and leads the Chargers to a second round exit.

Baltimore at Miami (BAL -3.5 )
Mummer: Miami
Again, rookie QB on the road.

LMoH: Dolphins
I really like the Ravens in this one. However, I really only like one road team to get a victory this weekend. That one road team is not the Ravens. I love Flacco. I love that defense. I just think Pennington is playing for more. I think he loves that he is in the playoffs and our favorite attention whore Brett "Bonds" Farve is back in Mississippi.

Philadelphia at Minnesota (PHL -3)
Mummer: Minnesota
Adrian Peterson is a difference maker. By that I mean, as soon as I traded him in my fantasy league, he was the difference between me making the playoffs and not. DON'T MAKE TRADES WHILE DRINKING.

LMoH: Eagles
Guess who he traded A.P. to...yes, I anally raped him while he was drinking. I went on to finish 11-2 and runner up in the playoffs. The Eagles are the one road team I like to win this weekend. It's not because I am drinking the kool aid. Tarvaris Jackson is not very good and apparently home field won't mean much since the puke's in Minnesota couldn't even sell out a playoff game. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. This where I roll up a newspaper and smack you on the nose.

It's about time we do a little more than just mention in passing that the Cavs are having a stellar season thus far. This kind of play warrants an entire post dedicated to them. As of tonight they have the third best record in the NBA bested only by the Celtics and Lakers who have the same number of losses, being five.

Steve Jones of NBCSports.com wrote a great article about the Cavaliers and their chances of winning a title this year. Definitely worth the read if not only for the fact that he mentions how playing with Kobe Bryant in Beijing was a positive experience for LeBron.

Also worth mentioning about the Cavs this season is their ridiculous home record of 16-0. To think that since the 2005-06 season they are 104-35 at home is unbelievable. That's a .748 winning percentage which virtually guarantees that if you attend home games in a sporadic fashion you're gonna see a Cavs victory. Not bad at all considering the Browns home winning percentage is a disgusting .438. Way to go Brownies!